Young Couple Wants To Put Warning On Wedding Invitations About Guests' Conduct, But Everyone Tells Them It's Absurd

"Out of courtesy, please refrain from the following..."

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• November 27, 2023

Each couple wants their wedding day to be the best day in their lives. Therefore, they do everything to ensure the event is perfectly organized and without unwanted surprises.

This led one young couple to extend their concerns on their wedding invitations, but their parents said that act would be extremely rude, so the OP wanted to check for other people's opinions. The OP is a 19-year-old male in the midst of planning his wedding to his 18-year-old girlfriend.

While young, the couple is not seeking judgment on their age. They have faced a dilemma regarding their wedding invitations.

They have designed the invitations together, including a draft of conduct guidelines on the back. This decision stems from two concerns: the common occurrence of inappropriate behavior at weddings, like unexpected proposals or pregnancy announcements, and the problematic nature of the girlfriend's parents, who have a history of narcissistic and abusive behavior.

The couple included specific requests on their invitation: guests are asked not to propose marriage or announce pregnancies, to avoid wearing excessive white or off-white attire, and to refrain from taking photographs during the ceremony. These rules, which the couple believes are reasonable, aim to maintain the decorum and focus of their special day.

However, upon presenting the invitation to the OP's mother, a 60-year-old woman, she negatively commented on it. She criticized the guidelines as offensive and alienating, even labeling them "ungodly" within the context of their Christian family values.

The OP's mother argued that these rules, if necessary, should be communicated privately rather than broadly on the invitation to avoid alienating guests. She expressed that if she were not a family member, such guidelines might dissuade her from attending the wedding.

In response, the OP highlighted that non-attendance based on disagreement with these rules would only validate their necessity. He also preferred a general announcement over individual conversations to avoid singling out specific guests.

The couple is now grappling with whether including these guidelines on their invitation is appropriate and welcomes further insight.

OP asks:

OP said they want to include a couple of notes on the back of their wedding invitations about the conduct:

OP wrote what they wanted to emphasize:

But his mother told him it would be very rude:

His mother believes he should talk privately with people about his concerns:

So, the OP wants to know what other people think:

A Redditor told him if someone wants to do so, they'll do it regardless of the notice

These are basic manners expected at weddings

It's not appropriate for the wedding invitation

People do it anyway

"Putting them on the invitations implies that you don’t believe your guests have common courtesy"

"The people the rules are for won't care."

Although Redditors understood the OP's concerns, they told him to listen to his mother and not put it on invitations. They also believe it would be rude and unnecessary as people who do such things at weddings won't care anyway.

They advised him to hire a security guard as an alternative solution.

Filip