Middle-Aged Woman Shares Her Dilemma With Her Parents' Housing Request

OP even considers just selling her home and moving to a 1 BR place just to avoid living with them.

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• September 7, 2023

In a Reddit post from the "r/AmITheA**hole" community, a 46-year-old woman faces a challenging dilemma regarding her parents. After years of living independently and dealing with boundary issues and clashes in lifestyle with her parents, who are in their early 60s, she's confronted with a significant decision.

Her mother, who has slight back problems, is her responsibility as a caregiver. Still, she struggles with her mother's tendency to dismiss her boundaries and impose on her personal space.

The problem: her parents informed her of their plan to sell their house due to debt and move into her two-bedroom cottage, which she inherited from her aunt. However, her mother's intentions are to make this arrangement permanent, despite potential issues like her father's early work schedule, lack of privacy, and plans to renovate the cottage according to her preferences.

These factors have left OP pondering her options and questioning whether refusing her parents' request would make her an a**hole in the eyes of her family and friends. We can't exactly blame her, at her age, she rightfully deserves her own privacy!

Commenters on the thread pushed OP towards asserting her boundaries, and yes, you may have guessed it, the general consensus was that she was NTA. Just take a look...

OP, living alone after years with a partner, grapples with boundary issues and criticism from her slightly disabled mother while also inheriting a two-bedroom cottage from her aunt.

Learning of her parents' decision to sell their house due to debt and move in with her, OP was surprised to discover it was intended to be a permanent arrangement.

However, her dad's early morning departures and penchant for lounging in his underwear when alone have posed privacy challenges.

With her dad's early bedtime and her mother's renovation plans, OP's feeling constrained and is considering selling the house for a one-bedroom rental to gain independence.

Scroll on to see what people have to say...

Beware of "temporary" moves; they tend to overstay their welcome.

Selfish requests don't fly.

Her aunt likely left her the cottage as a personal escape plan, not as a family reunion venue.

Absolutely, Aunt deserves the MVP title for granting her a cottage-sized escape from the family drama.

Their attempt to infiltrate her home is like an uninvited guest at a party, and it's simply not acceptable.

OP needs to stand her ground and enjoy her independence...

Sage advice: Therapy can be OP's personal dojo for self-assertion.

Don't let them force you into it, OP.

Her mother's plan doesn't have to be her only option; there's a variety of paths to independence beyond caregiving or selling her home.

OP should prioritize what's best for herself without being swayed by those entitled individuals trying to dictate her decisions.

Let her parents navigate the property market themselves and find a suitable solution like a ground floor one-bedroom apartment.

Let your parents find their own housing and care, OP!

After almost five decades, it's high time she traded in the doormat for a spine and mastered the art of the word "NO" like a boss.

OP's own happiness is on the line here.

Serve up that "no" and make it crystal clear that your mother's living arrangement plans won't be happening.

Self-protection is paramount when respect is lacking.

It's crucial for OP to break free and claim her own space, and her parents should take note that respect is the master key to her kingdom.

OP's parents should remember they're not entitled to it.

Her aunt's gift is her sanctuary, not her parents' vacation home.

It's not theirs, simple as that.

Don't let them guilt-trip you, OP.

"Grow a spine."

Just follow her inner mom's lead and use the "misinformation" card to remind everyone that her aunt left the house to her for a reason—end of story!

Her parents can find assisted living, and she should change those locks pronto to avoid an unwelcome takeover.

Letting them in means being stuck on their track forever.

Halt their unwanted plans and prevent future headaches.

The parents should seek an appropriate community for their needs, not burden her for the next few decades.

"Your mother is not God."

No matter what age you are, it's truly important that you must learn how to put your foot down and assert boundaries whenever it's needed—even if it's against your parents!

What do you think of this situation, though? Do you think OP was in the right or wrong?

Comment down your thoughts, or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

Sophia