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Sleep-Deprived Wife Rethinks Her Marriage After Her Husband Told Her To Sleep In Guest Room If She Doesn't Want Dog To Interrupt Her Sleep

Tom
by Tom
11 Jan 2023

Couples call it quits for a ton of different reasons. Most cite financial difficulties as the final straw that tipped the scale but have you heard of anyone separating because their significant other prioritized the dogs over them?

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This sleep-deprived wife has not only heard of it, but she is also going through it. Her husband used to have a dog named Alpha when they met, and three years later, they added Daisy to the mix to be Alpha's buddy.

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Alpha, unfortunately, passed away in 2021, and OP's husband was distraught about it. He immediately wanted a dog because he thought Daisy would miss the companionship that Alpha used to provide.

OP was hesitant because she knew they couldn't dedicate enough time to a new dog. They both have demanding jobs, plus she wanted to take her time finding the perfect dog.

Her husband was relentless in convincing her and kept sending photos of rescue dogs they could adopt. Eventually, OP broke and agreed to go to a shelter.

They found a 2-year-old dog of the same breed and immediately fell in love with him. Bruno had a great temperament and seemed to gel well with Daisy.

That love soon turned to regret as Bruno proved to be a medically demanding dog. He has at least a dozen environmental and food-related allergies.

His condition forced OP to make changes to his diet, grooming, schedule, and budget

His condition forced OP to make changes to his diet, grooming, schedule, and budget
u/Grimace4Eyes
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Bruno is require to see his veterinary dermatologist frequently for his allergy vaccine, antihistamine shot, antibiotic, and a specialized allergy pill

Bruno is require to see his veterinary dermatologist frequently for his allergy vaccine, antihistamine shot, antibiotic, and a specialized allergy pill
u/Grimace4Eyes

The problem is his treatment is not always potent depending on what season it is

The problem is his treatment is not always potent depending on what season it is
u/Grimace4Eyes

The Impact of Sleep Deprivation on Relationships

Sleep deprivation can have profound effects on emotional regulation and interpersonal relationships.

Research published in the Journal of Sleep Research indicates that lack of sleep can lead to increased irritability and conflict within partnerships.

In this case, the wife's sleep issues may be exacerbating tensions with her husband, leading to feelings of neglect and misunderstanding.

He will scratch, bite, and lick himself to find relief which interrupts OP's sleep on a daily basis

He will scratch, bite, and lick himself to find relief which interrupts OP's sleep on a daily basis
u/Grimace4Eyes
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Her husband doesn't suffer so much because he is a deep sleeper. OP tried to use noise cancelling headphones and earplugs but she can still hear Bruno during his episodes.

Her husband doesn't suffer so much because he is a deep sleeper. OP tried to use noise cancelling headphones and earplugs but she can still hear Bruno during his episodes.
u/Grimace4Eyes

She has become irritable because she is not getting enough sleep which has since impacted her work performance

She asked her husband to keep their dogs downstairs instead of in their room but he flipped out. They fight when her husband realizes in the morning that she took the dogs downstairs in the middle of the night.

He said OP is an a**hole for kicking their dogs out so she can get a restful sleep. He told her to sleep in their guest room if she's so bothered by it but OP thinks she's not asking too much from him — is she the a**hole?

She has become irritable because she is not getting enough sleep which has since impacted her work performance
u/Grimace4Eyes

This Redditor's situation highlights the importance of balancing pet care with personal well-being.

Psychologists note that when one partner's needs are consistently prioritized over the other's, it can lead to feelings of resentment and emotional disconnect.

Understanding this dynamic is key to addressing the underlying issues in the relationship.

OP's husband better wake up and face reality before he loses OP as well

OP's husband better wake up and face reality before he loses OP as well
DeciduousEmu, Grimace4Eyes
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He thinks OP is asking too much because he hasn't experienced firsthand how debilitating constant lack of sleep is

He thinks OP is asking too much because he hasn't experienced firsthand how debilitating constant lack of sleep is
HardRainisFalling

They need to share this struggle and OP has to consistently wake her husband up every single time Bruno has one of his episodes

They need to share this struggle and OP has to consistently wake her husband up every single time Bruno has one of his episodes
Alita_Moonsong, Grimace4Eyes

The Role of Emotional Needs in Relationships

Emotional needs play a crucial role in relationship satisfaction, particularly when it comes to shared responsibilities.

Research shows that partners who feel heard and valued are more likely to experience relationship fulfillment.

This Redditor might benefit from discussing her feelings of neglect openly with her husband, emphasizing the need for mutual respect and understanding.

It was so bold of him to suggest that OP be the one to pack & move to the guest room instead of him

It was so bold of him to suggest that OP be the one to pack & move to the guest room instead of him
nolimitxox, FormalRaccoon637
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The audacity of some people. OP was willing to find a good middle ground but her husband threw it all out and apparently he set the rules without consulting her.

The audacity of some people. OP was willing to find a good middle ground but her husband threw it all out and apparently he set the rules without consulting her.
Far_Anteater_256

Why does he need them to be in the room especially when he knows the dogs have impacted his wife's sleep?

Why does he need them to be in the room especially when he knows the dogs have impacted his wife's sleep?
exxtruxx

Practical solutions might include establishing a schedule that allows for both pet care and sufficient rest for the wife.

Research indicates that couples who collaboratively create solutions report higher satisfaction and less conflict in their relationships.

Finding a balance between pet responsibilities and personal health needs is critical for maintaining relationship harmony.

Dogs are great but they are not people. OP's husband is being ridiculous and it could cost him this marriage.

Dogs are great but they are not people. OP's husband is being ridiculous and it could cost him this marriage.
Jikal, Grimace4Eyes

He obviously made it clear that the dogs are number one. He has to stand by that choice and take charge of everything dog-related.

He obviously made it clear that the dogs are number one. He has to stand by that choice and take charge of everything dog-related.
Yvette-Miu-Miu-Mom

They need couples therapy stat because his disregard for her wellbeing is sending them straight to the separation route

They need couples therapy stat because his disregard for her wellbeing is sending them straight to the separation route
JosieJOK

Communicating Needs in Relationships

Effective communication is essential for addressing relational conflicts, particularly when emotions run high.

Studies emphasize that using 'I' statements can help partners express feelings without assigning blame, fostering a more productive dialogue.

This approach can help the Redditor articulate her needs while minimizing defensiveness from her husband.

Will this Reddit comments change his minds?

Will this Reddit comments change his minds?
bamf1701, Grimace4Eyes

How difficult was that? Why did it take anonymous comments to change his mind?

How difficult was that? Why did it take anonymous comments to change his mind?
Grimace4Eyes

They really do need to go to therapy. How are OP's multiple complaints not enough for her husband to see things from her perspective?

He was basically forcing her to stay sleep-deprived just so he could keep the dogs in the room while he slept soundly. If I were OP, I'd still be salty, to be honest.

Expert Opinion

This situation exemplifies how sleep deprivation can strain relationships, particularly when one partner feels their needs are being sidelined.

Addressing these issues through open communication and mutual respect is essential for restoring balance.

Expert
Dr Emily Carter
Psychologist

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, addressing the challenges of sleep deprivation in relationships requires understanding emotional needs and open communication.

Research highlights the importance of collaborative problem-solving in enhancing relationship satisfaction.

Ultimately, fostering an environment that values both partners' needs can lead to healthier interactions.

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