"Designated Babysitter" In The Family Accused Of Ruining Her Uncle's Adoption Case And Destroying Parents' Marriage Just By Refusing To Babysit One Time
A 33-year-old said no to her family for the first time, and drama followed. OP has always been her family's designated babysitter.
OP is the oldest child on both sides of her large family. She has five siblings, ten aunts and uncles, each of whom has at least four children.
OP herself has twin boys. Her husband, Ryan, passed away a few years ago and has been a single mom to her kids since.
Aside from help from her family and in-laws, Ryan's best friend, Alex, has been OP's rock. They got the blessing from Ryan's and OP's family to start dating a year after Ryan's passing.
OP's birthday was coming up. Alex planned a big date night with OP to a city an hour's drive away in a fancy restaurant — OP believed Alex was planning to propose to her.
They even shopped for expensive clothes just for the night. Here's where OP's designated babysitting duties became a problem.
His youngest maternal uncle, Michael, and his wife, Mary, were in the process of adopting a baby. The baby's grandmother was fighting them for custody.
Two weeks before OP's big date night, Mary called her. They had a court date on the day of OP's birthday, and they wanted her to babysit.
OP explained why she couldn't do it, but Mary was too angry to listen. Mary called OP's mom, who then called to yell at OP.
Without telling OP, her mom told Mary and Michael that she will babysit their kid. She thought that if they showed up at her house, OP would have no choice but to watch the baby.
u/This_Value_5243Mary and Michael showed up to OP's house in the afternoon of her birthday. OP once again declined to babysit which made the couple angry.
u/This_Value_5243OP almost had to call the police to have them removed from her property.
u/This_Value_5243OP turned her phone off knowing that her relatives will curse at her for what happened. She and Alex did get engaged that night as OP predicted.
u/This_Value_5243OP turned her phone on and received a barrage of hateful messages from her relatives who accused her of sabotaging the adoption and some who called her a whore for dating so soon after her Ryan's passing.
OP's dad was completely on her side and tried to defend her. Their mom was so mad that she moved out of their house, so OP's siblings are now accusing her of ruining their parent's marriage.
u/This_Value_5243Large family and the babysitting duty starts and ends with OP? It's not adding up.
Diggeratarms
Good thing OP's fiancé is ready to back her up against her toxic relatives who are only nice to her when they need her for something
This_Value_5243
OP needs to hold her ground. Giving into what her relatives want will give them license to abuse her further.
morgaina
They are just trying to pressure OP to uphold the status quo that benefitted them greatly
ArkeryStarkery
She shouldn't allow that anymore. They've used her long enough. It's time for them to find an actual babysitter.
ArkeryStarkery
OP should listen to what Alex is teaching her. Eventually, she should get a therapist herself.
This_Value_5243
Those shaming her for getting engaged to Alex should be on top of her no-contact list
justcelia13
The fact that they expected OP to babysit on her birthday was so infuriating
Drayle171
They had two weeks to come up with an alternative plan but they failed to do so
Drayle171
That is not OP's problem at all. She said no. She is not a child for her mother to make decisions for her.
This_Value_5243
Well, at least OP will have less people to invite to her wedding. Think of the savings!
AlannaAdvice
Really, the trash taking itself out was a huge favor to OP
This_Value_5243
Now, she doesn't have to rack her brain about which relatives she should keep in her life
Tr00ly
They showed her what kind of people they are
latents
They are the kind of people who will bring nothing but drama and trauma in OP's life
robertthebruce17
I hope OP continues to rediscover her autonomy. She has been functioning as she was brought up by her conservative and toxic family.
She is now learning, with Alex's help, that she is not at anyone's beck and call. OP and her growing family will be better off once they prioritize their peace over keeping the peace with people who don't see her value.
