"Designated Babysitter" In The Family Accused Of Ruining Her Uncle's Adoption Case And Destroying Parents' Marriage Just By Refusing To Babysit One Time

"Your family is a total disaster area."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• September 20, 2023

A 33-year-old said no to her family for the first time, and drama followed. OP has always been her family's designated babysitter.

OP is the oldest child on both sides of her large family. She has five siblings, ten aunts and uncles, each of whom has at least four children.

OP herself has twin boys. Her husband, Ryan, passed away a few years ago and has been a single mom to her kids since.

Aside from help from her family and in-laws, Ryan's best friend, Alex, has been OP's rock. They got the blessing from Ryan's and OP's family to start dating a year after Ryan's passing.

OP's birthday was coming up. Alex planned a big date night with OP to a city an hour's drive away in a fancy restaurant — OP believed Alex was planning to propose to her.

They even shopped for expensive clothes just for the night. Here's where OP's designated babysitting duties became a problem.

His youngest maternal uncle, Michael, and his wife, Mary, were in the process of adopting a baby. The baby's grandmother was fighting them for custody.

Two weeks before OP's big date night, Mary called her. They had a court date on the day of OP's birthday, and they wanted her to babysit.

OP explained why she couldn't do it, but Mary was too angry to listen. Mary called OP's mom, who then called to yell at OP.

Without telling OP, her mom told Mary and Michael that she will babysit their kid. She thought that if they showed up at her house, OP would have no choice but to watch the baby.

Mary and Michael showed up to OP's house in the afternoon of her birthday. OP once again declined to babysit which made the couple angry.

OP almost had to call the police to have them removed from her property.

OP turned her phone off knowing that her relatives will curse at her for what happened. She and Alex did get engaged that night as OP predicted.

OP turned her phone on and received a barrage of hateful messages from her relatives who accused her of sabotaging the adoption and some who called her a whore for dating so soon after her Ryan's passing.

OP's dad was completely on her side and tried to defend her. Their mom was so mad that she moved out of their house, so OP's siblings are now accusing her of ruining their parent's marriage.

Large family and the babysitting duty starts and ends with OP? It's not adding up.

Good thing OP's fiancé is ready to back her up against her toxic relatives who are only nice to her when they need her for something

OP needs to hold her ground. Giving into what her relatives want will give them license to abuse her further.

They are just trying to pressure OP to uphold the status quo that benefitted them greatly

She shouldn't allow that anymore. They've used her long enough. It's time for them to find an actual babysitter.

OP should listen to what Alex is teaching her. Eventually, she should get a therapist herself.

Those shaming her for getting engaged to Alex should be on top of her no-contact list

The fact that they expected OP to babysit on her birthday was so infuriating

They had two weeks to come up with an alternative plan but they failed to do so

That is not OP's problem at all. She said no. She is not a child for her mother to make decisions for her.

Well, at least OP will have less people to invite to her wedding. Think of the savings!

Really, the trash taking itself out was a huge favor to OP

Now, she doesn't have to rack her brain about which relatives she should keep in her life

They showed her what kind of people they are

They are the kind of people who will bring nothing but drama and trauma in OP's life

I hope OP continues to rediscover her autonomy. She has been functioning as she was brought up by her conservative and toxic family.

She is now learning, with Alex's help, that she is not at anyone's beck and call. OP and her growing family will be better off once they prioritize their peace over keeping the peace with people who don't see her value.

Chelsi