Woman Wonders If She's Unreasonable For Wanting Her Partner To Leave House More Often

"He works from home 100% of the time, and he is a homebody"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 28, 2023

Ever since moving in with her boyfriend about two years ago, a woman in her thirties has been facing an interesting challenge. She likes spending time alone sometimes, but her boyfriend, who's in his forties, is always at home since he works from there. They've had a few small arguments about this.

Her boyfriend prefers staying home most of the time, and they end up spending a lot of time together because of that. Before moving in, she used to have her place, and she's been missing having some time to herself.

Now, since her boyfriend is always home, she can't get that alone time anymore. He doesn't have hobbies that take him outside, and he rarely goes out without her. They have friends they could go out with, but even when they do go out, she's always with him. On the other hand, she goes out more often for work, seeing family, and meeting friends.

Recently, they argued about this again. She told him multiple times that she wanted to be alone in the house sometimes. It's not that he's bothering her when he's around, but she just wants that solo time. Maybe if you're someone who likes being alone sometimes, you can understand how she feels. Having someone else around all the time is starting to bother her.

She hoped he'd understand after they talked about it, but he didn't change much. He said he would try to go out more, but he didn't do it (the last time he went out alone was in November).

Last night, he had a chance to go out with a friend, but he didn't want to. That's when she got upset and reminded him about their discussion and how she wished he'd go out on his own sometimes.

He's feeling hurt because he thinks she wants him out of the house. After all, she doesn't like his company. But that's not the case. She just wants him to want to go out more, not just leave because she asked. She thinks it's fair to want some alone time at home once every couple of months.

It's important to note that he's not great at making plans to meet people – usually, he waits for someone to invite him.

OP began living with her boyfriend. However, he is frequently at home, and as a result, OP finds herself longing for the personal time she used to have.

Although OP's partner has acknowledged the importance of having personal space, his commitment to spending more time outside hasn't been fulfilled, leading to feelings of frustration.

OP wants her boyfriend to willingly spend time outdoors without feeling like she's pressuring him to leave or that she doesn't enjoy his company.

It's his house, so he decides whether to stay or leave.

OP needs to find personal space at home and communicate calmly

Alone time at home is essential for recharging and maintaining a healthy relationship

OP should have stayed in her previous home if she wanted to be alone

Respect his ownership and space

Taking time for oneself in a relationship is normal and important.

Living together might not be a good idea for OP

Both of them share the house, and it's fair for both to have equal rights

Amid these intricacies, it's evident that both the OP and her boyfriend stand at a crossroads that demands understanding and compromise. Acknowledging each other's need for personal space is crucial for the relationship's harmony.

A balanced agreement, ensuring a few hours of alone time every month, could be the key to preserving their togetherness while nurturing themselves.

Damjan