45 People Reveal Their Most Unsettling Secrets In This Online Thread

"My cat is the only thing keeping me from offing myself. I have a husband and kids."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 25, 2023

In the modern world, people often have to put on a facade. This is because we are constantly bombarded with images of perfection, whether it's in the media, on social media, or even in real life.

It can be hard to escape the pressure to be perfect, and as a result, many people end up putting on a facade. They pretend to be something they're not in order to try and fit into this idealized world.

It's not always easy to keep up with the act, and it can be exhausting. But for many people, it's worth it because they feel like they have to be perfect in order to be happy.

It appears that in our modern society, many individuals have something that they prefer to keep hidden. This could be a romantic attraction, a special talent, or a past blunder.

People usually want to present themselves in the best light and avoid any scrutiny or awkward questions. However, a recent Ask Reddit thread created a platform for people to disclose something dark or concerning about themselves.

When asked, "What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?" the answers came flowing in. Here are a few of the most interesting.

1. "I had a metal screw/bolt roughly an inch and a half long stuck in my right lung from age 2-17."

I must have put it in my mouth as a toddler and it got in got there somehow.

Anyway, The unsettling bit is that I always knew there was something seriously wrong with my body, because my whole life I would have instances in which I coughed uncontrollably, many times coughing up blood. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But I never told anyone. Dad was neglectful and mom was always working, so it was relatively easy to hide. If it happened at school I’d excuse myself to the restroom until it stopped. No one ever showed concern those 15 years so I guess I kept it to myself well enough.

I never told anyone, because even as a small child I was very unhappy with life and wanted it to be over. I guess I figured my mystery illness would get me eventually, so I kept it a secret so I wouldn’t get treated.

It all came to a head at 17 when playing ball at the park with my parents, siblings, and some friends. I got a decent hit and ran around the bases when I started coughing. After sitting back down I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t… and this time it was too bloody to hide and no bathroom to go to.

So my step uncle noticed after a minute or two, everyone is crowded around me while I’m coughing up a s***load of blood in and around a trash can. My little brother told me after that they actually sent guys in hazmat suits to clean it up because they didn’t know if whatever was wrong with me was contagious.

But anyway, got to the hospital got the X-ray which showed the screw lit up like Christmas imposed over my rib cage. Doctor guy just went “Well there’s your problem!” I guess he was trying to lighten the mood since everyone was understandably freaking the f**k out.

Two weeks of surgery, three total, and it was out. I still have breathing issues, but the cough is gone now. I made the screw into a necklace which I wear sometimes because I find it oddly comforting to be reminded of my own mortality. I know that’s weird but it’s just sort of how I am all things considered.

I never told my family I knew there was something wrong with me, because telling them would mean admitting to them that I wanted to die the whole time.

I still struggle with mental health c**p for this and many, many other reasons I won’t get into, but things are a lot easier than they used to be.

But anyway, if you actually took the time to read about my weird little life I appreciate your time and hope your day is pleasant.

2. "I’m an alcoholic, gotten so bad to the point I was in jail and I was admitted into a psych ward once. "

"My drinking life was wild and destructive. Decided I’ve had enough. After 2 failed attempts I’m currently 36 days sober, the most sober I’ve been in years."

3. "My dog and my mother died in the same year."

I was so devastated when my dog passed. That kind of pain didn't even touch the pain of losing my mom.

Partially because she had given up on me and life years before she died. She drank herself to death and got sepsis. My dad killed himself in 02. I'm 38 now. I miss them.

I miss my dog more. She was always there for me, through so much illness and loneliness and pain. She was my best friend.

RIP

4. "My cat is the only thing keeping me from offing myself."

I have a husband and kids, and they should be the reason I stay alive. The thing is… my family has people to take care of them if I go.

But my cat only likes me. He waits every night by the door for me to come home, and every time I’m in a dark place and thinking of just… ending it, I think about how this damn cat would just wait and wait for me until he died. Kind of like that Futurama episode with Fry’s dog.

5. "Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was [injured] 6 times."

I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house.

I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU.

I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have "drop foot". Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well.

6. "I constantly think about leaving my current life behind and just living alone somewhere remote where no one knows I exist."

Odd thing is, I have a really good happy life- and I’d never do it, but I think about it constantly

7. "I put my dad out of his misery when he was on his death bed. I overdosed him with his painkillers and he died an hour later."

8. "I’m slowly leaving society and don’t plan to tell anyone"

9. "When I was 18 years old, I was incarcerated for three years, found not guilty, and acquitted on all charges."

10. Sometimes I think I have memories of being sexually molested or exploited as a young child.

But I can’t ever be sure if the memories are real, and I wouldn’t dare ask anyone.

Edit: I am shocked and horrified at how many others have similar experiences/suspicions. But the amount of people that feel comfort in knowing they aren’t alone has made sharing this post worth it.

Wishing you all clarity, peace, and healing.

11. "Slept in my mom's bed until I was 12 years old"

12. "I have unusually good night vision, extra cones/rods"

I have unusually good night vision, extra cones/rods (I forget which is for low light) which means I walk around in what other people consider complete darkness, able to see just fine. Add onto that I'm 6'10" and very large, basically a cryptid

13. "I have a tendency to self isolate,"

14. "I'm intersex, and my bone structure is fully compromised, cause of deformities, and a lot of pain..."

need surgeries that I'll probably be never able to afford

will live life like a ghost inside a shell

15. "I can turn my emotions off to any situation if I choose too and basically be in a state of blankness. "

Doesn’t matter how sad or bad it is. The therapist said it’s a defense mechanism from a messed up childhood.

16. "I have no will to live and I'm only still here so I don't upset my family and friends."

17. CCR5-delta-32 mutation

18. "My mental health has taken a sharp decline in the last year"

My mental health has taken a sharp decline in the last year, and my friends and family don’t know about everything I’m trying to deal with (I just crack jokes about it or manically word vomit some things but not everything). Here’s some word vomit for anyone who cares to read (TW: bad mental health):

I think I have PTSD (I get flashes of the worst night of my life, and that happened November, 2021). I can’t touch soft sweaters without damn near having a panic attack. I’m getting intrusive thoughts that tell me I’m bad, worthless, unloved, unworthy of being loved, and all other mean things. I constantly maintain a very high level of anxiety. I overthink everything to the point that I can’t focus on anything else sometimes.

I have no motivation to clean, exercise, cook, or do anything else I used to enjoy. I din’t enjoy moments when I feel happy because I feel guilty when I’m happy. I just want to sleep, but I can’t for very long because of my anxiety. My Wellbutrin and propranolol don’t work anymore, not very well anyway. I can’t just walk away and keep walking until I die of hunger or exhaustion because my husband would be sad, and I don’t want my last action on earth to be another bad one.

I cry a lot. I couldn’t maintain eye contact with my husband last night because every time I looked at him, I wanted to burst into tears. He hugged me, and I almost burst into tears. I stopped cuddling because I was about to burst into tears.

I started keeping a mental health journal, and I have so many more bad days than good. Even the good days are marred by bad stuff. I just lie in bed all day instead of being busy and productive like I used to.

Sorry for the wall of text. I’m just very tired and wanted to holler my problems into the Internet void.

19. "I take a shower with socks on ever so often."

20. "I was emotionally abused by my dad. "

21. "I talk with myself."

Not the usual "You can do it!" type of s**t.

Literally act like I am 2 people, that are having a conversation.

I called him "G". He is ok.

22. "I am depressed, I want to off myself, and yet, I seem more or less normal on the outside"

23. "I have 2 lenses in my right eye"

I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye.

24. "My daughter was an accident"

25. "My father hit me, sometimes closed fist."

26. "I don't usually experience grief when someone dies"

27. Pitch black

From ages 6 to 14, I spent all of my time in a pitch black, cold and locked basement, only leaving for school and never letting anyone (outside the family) know.

28. Die young

Since I was very young (age 9 or 10 I think), I've had thoughts that I was going to die young. The older I got, the age 24 just kept reoccurring. I'll be 24 in a few months. I have appointments for neurologists for a suspected brain tumor coming up. Nothing is certain or set but this all feels very weird.

29. "I inherited a lot of money"

30. "A random guy in a bar bit part of my ear off."

31. "I've ripped a mans ear off with my teeth."

Context: Self-defence. The ear rips off the head like paper wear your earmuffs out you never know who's hungry

32. "I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life."

I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me.

There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of.

33. Early death

Diabetes and high blood pressure and cholesterol (that I’ve had since I was 21) means that I’ll probably die an early death.

Might not be scary and unsettling to you, but it bums the s**t out of me.

Edit; thanks for the kind words everyone. I spent some time on my health, and went from being 230 lbs amd on injectable insulin in my late 20s, to be being 180 lbs and a regular jogger on only some oral meds in my early 30s. I’m now 42 and I’ve backslid, 195 lbs and not jogging.

I’m still on only oral meds, no insulin, but my blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar are all creeping up and less poorly controlled. I don’t think I’m going to die tomorrow, but I’m still worried about having a lower standard of living in 20-30 years. So it’s time to put on my big boy pants and get back to work on myself.

34. "I am a very friendly/nice/happy person trapped in the body of a dull, slow person."

I have bipolar 2, depression, anxiety, adhd, and fibromyalgia. I have had so many different medications over the course of my life that it has literally ruined my brain.

Most of my life I have been very friendly and made friends easily enough. Over the last ten years I have been trying to get my various ailments under control using tons of different mediations and mental health treatments.

Now I struggle greatly to show any emotion other than a stoic demeanor. I don't laugh often (usually only when I am stoned), I will just call things out as funny and remain straight faced. My memory and cognitive function are compromised. It's a f*****g nightmare to be a completely different person in your head.

35. "A third of my body is covered in burn scars."

36. "Pooped in my neighbors backyard "

37. "I just really don't care about people."

38. "I honesty barely know myself."

39. "I have an enlarged aortic root."

It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture, leading to the medical term *adjusts glasses*... "instantaneous death". I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol.

40. "That I woke up in the middle of surgery..."

and threw a mayo pan at a nurse before they pinned me back down and upped my dosage of sedatives. Key note still had retracters in so I briefly looked like a dead space enemy.

Have spotty memory of it. Sedation is very hit and miss with me. Has happened three times. Once during surgery, once during a nerve burn (never went out just paralyzed for about 3 minutes then started speaking during the procedure), the last was during colonoscopy (seriously painful and asked the doctor if he was an old scout leader he was laughing then asked the nurse if I was within range for another dose of sedative)

41. "i can walk in a backbend. it looks demonic"

i can do it cuz i have EDS and my connective tissue is basically shreaded chicken

oh and i can pop joints out of socket with little pain

42. "I sometimes smile and laugh at tragic news/events."

I sometimes smile and laugh at tragic news/events, especially if I see someone else crying and/or is the barer of bad news.

I hate it, however I think I understand why it happens, it's some sort of trauma defense mechanism because someone is expecting me to feel saddened and to frown.

43. "Bilingual illiterate"

44. "I love going to the dentist."

45. "I had 6 toes on each foot at birth"

I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at.

It is frightening to see how many people here are contemplating suicide or have no will to live. It is often said that emotional problems are best dealt with by talking to someone who is impartial and who will not be judgemental.

This is why professional help is often seen as the best option for dealing with emotional issues. A professional will be able to help you to understand your emotions and to find healthy ways of dealing with them.

This can be an invaluable service, particularly if you feel that you are struggling to cope with your emotions on your own.

Damjan