Woman's Bond With Best Friend Grows Tense Following Twins' Birth, Leading To Feelings Of Neglect And Threatening Their Friendship

"She reaches out to our other friends, just not me."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 12, 2024

It's tough when friends start to feel like they're not as close as they used to be, especially when big things happen in their lives. This story is about two friends who hit a rough patch when one of them had twins.

The person telling the story, OP, used to hang out with her best friend the same amount as always, even when she was pregnant. OP understood that her friend was super excited about her babies, but she also felt a bit pushed aside.

After the twins were born, OP didn't visit much because she thought her friend needed space to bond with her babies. She also had a lot going on herself, like money problems and family stuff.

But recently, her friend called OP, really upset. She felt like OP didn't care about their friendship or her kids since OP hardly visited.

This hurt OP, especially since she's been so busy and also planning to have kids of her own soon. Her friend even said they should take a break from being friends and maybe talk again in the winter.

That means OP might miss the twins' first birthday. OP feels stuck.

She likes to know when she's made a mistake so she can fix it, but she didn't even know her friend was upset until now. It's hard because her friend still talks to other friends, just not OP.

Now OP's waiting to see if her friend thinks their 10-year friendship is worth saving.

OP's best friend had twins last October and OP noticed that during her pregnancy, their interactions became focused solely on the babies.

The OP received a message from her friend, expressing that she feels their friendship isn't a priority and that the OP hasn't spent much time with her kids.

OP wanted to give them space after birth for bonding, but she also faced financial issues, a family death, and busy lives.

She wants space and suggested reconnecting in winter, and the OP prefers constructive feedback to improve the relationship.

OP is questioning whether she is in the wrong for having her own life and struggles that her friend hasn't considered.

OP has the right to choose how much time she spends with her children.

While her focus is on her kids, OP should to remember that her world is not the same.

Her request for space is unreasonable.

OP's friend wants a break because OP had a life and hasn't focused on her and her babies for the past nine months.

It's a good opportunity for OP to take a break from her self-centered behavior and reconsider the friendship.

OP's role as a friend doesn't automatically make her responsible for her kids; if she wanted a closer friendship, she should have expressed that explicitly.

Friendship should be a two-way street, and it's not fair for someone to expect you to constantly be available and then guilt-trip you for having your own life and problems.

OP needs to reconsider the friendship.

OP's friend seems selfish and doesn't seem to care about OP.

Not everything revolves around her.

Friendship is a two-way street, which means both friends should understand each other's needs and be there for each other. It's not right for one person to be demanding and then get upset when the other person has their own life and problems.

OP and her friend need to talk honestly and try to find a solution to their issues. Both of them need to communicate and figure out if their friendship is still worth it.

They should avoid making quick judgments and work together to make their friendship better.

Damjan