Redditor Asks If She Should Divorce After Learning That Her Husband Secretly Took A Paternity Test

"I found the paternity test he had gotten behind my back"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• September 27, 2023

Every relationship relies on trust and communication. If the couple has a communication issue, it's likely something that can be solved, but if the problem is broken trust, it'll probably stay that way.

Recently, a Reddit user reached out to the Reddit community asking for life advice. The OP explained she and her husband have been married for three years and share a one-and-a-half-year-old son.

The OP is also six months pregnant with a daughter. When the OP met her husband, he was very shy, which made the initial stages of their relationship rocky.

The OP believes his insecurities about his appearance and height were worsened by his then-friends, which she labeled "Incels." These friends caused them numerous conflicts.

They were saying the OP couldn't be trusted due to her having had previous relationships and suggesting she was using her husband financially despite the fact they were earning similar incomes. And the OP's husband allowed their words to disrupt his trust in her.

But it all stopped when they married, so the OP hoped for a peaceful married life. However, a few months into her pregnancy, her husband approached her and asked for a paternity test, spurred on by his friends' allegations.

The OP was devastated by this request, so she gave him an ultimatum: either drop the suspicions or proceed with a paternity test and a subsequent divorce. He had chosen to drop the doubts and soon cut ties with his toxic friends.

However, the OP recently discovered a hidden paternity test that her husband did behind her back. When she confronted him, he begged for forgiveness, assuring her he'd been over his trust issues.

But the OP is now enveloped in doubt and uncertainty. She is at a crossroads, struggling to choose the right path and with broken trust due to hidden lies in her marriage.

Here is the OP's dilemma:

The OP explained her husband has always been insecure about himself:

His friends worsened that insecurity to the point that he asked her for a paternity test:

It truly hurt the OP, so she gave him an ultimatum:

He told her he had chosen not to do it, but the OP recently found he was lying:

The OP is now confused and asking for advice to handle her emotions and the situation:

Couples counseling could help them

He should work on his trust issues

He needs therapy to learn to love himself and his family

The OP explained:

"Isn’t him not trusting you- it’s a complete lack of self confidence"

A Redditor gave their honest opinion

The OP replied:

"It think the fact that he got rid of those friends does indicate he has made some changes in his life."

Redditors advised the OP to go to couples therapy and try to solve their broken trust. They also reminded her that her husband's trust issues do not originate from her actions but from his own insecurity.

Either way, he should seek therapy on his own and work on himself a bit.

Filip