40 Examples Of Toxic Positivity, As Called Out By Women In This Online Group

Someone wanted to know the worst advice or a phrase filled with toxic positivity

Daphnie

• Published in Interesting
• November 19, 2021

It's common for people to react in certain ways when someone tells them something negative or bad thoughts that they might have. Typically, people will try to cheer them up.

A lot of people decide to do this by telling the person that everything will be okay and work out in the end and that there could be worse things happening. This isn't usually done with ill intent because a lot of people just feel that saying these things will help make your situation better.

However, this is definitely forcing some sort of positivity on the person who isn't quite ready to see that side yet, plus it also makes their situation seem less important or worse off if you say "it could be worse" or "worst things could be happening."

This is a common case of dismissing the person's negative feelings and trying to force a positive outlook when that person hasn't had time to process through the negativity yet. Although this might seem like a proper response to someone in need of cheering up, you might think twice before saying some of these things after reading this post.

We are going to go through forty different examples of toxic positivity.

1.

"It all made you stronger."

This makes me feel terrible because I made me stronger. the things that happen to me actually destroyed me.

2.

My grandma told me that I have to put up with nasty family members "because they're family."

If someone is bad or causing me negativity in my life then I am not going to let them just because they're family.

3.

"You don't medication for depression or anxiety. You just need to go outside and smile more!"

Yeah okay... because the sun will fix my actual mental health issues.

4.

When my husband passed away unexpectedly at age 50, more than one person said to me "my divorce was like a death too."

Nope... not really the same thing.

5.

When my dad passed away a lot of people told me that "he's in a better place."

It's a common saying, but what if you're not religious. We aren't and quite frankly we want him HERE.

6.

"You'll change your mind." This is what they say when I tell them that I don't want kids.

This is the toxic mentality that women have to be mothers. I knew when I was young that I didn't want kids.

This many year later and I still don't want them, I don't think that will change anytime soon.

7.

"Everything happens for a reason" or "God will never give you more than you can handle."

yes, everything may happen for a reason but this will not make me feel any better about this situation.

8.

"Just don't think about it."

Sure, yeah my problems will just go away if I just don't think about it. My problem is physical, so I don't think it's just going to go away if I don't think about it.

9.

Everything about using the power of prayer and positive thinking to attract positive things into your life. Something about manifestation.

This is very much a victim-blaming mindset and phrasing because they are essentially blaming you for attracting negative energy and things into your life.

10.

"You have it much better than other people."

Yes that may be true, but don't invalidate my feelings.

11.

"You think that's bad, wait until you hear what happened to me - it's worse."

12.

I lost my first pregnancy earlier this year. It sucked and I fell into a depression.

A close family member kept trying to make me see the "positive side of it." It's been a while but I see no positive side to losing my child even to this day.

13.

"At least he doesn't hit you!"

Wow, So I'm supposed to put up with all the BS because he doesn't hit me

14.

"You can't have kids? Take mine for a day and you'll be happy you don't have one of your own."

Yes because you being this type of parent makes me feel better about being infertile.

15.

In group therapy, someone said that they're proud, they're never got depressed, no matter what life threw at them. With a person with depression sitting right next to them.

Very inconsiderate to say something like this in a room full of people who are currently in therapy with problems that may be depression. You don't know.

16.

"Pain is all in your head."

I'm sorry.... what.

17.

"There's someone for everyone. You just need to believe and you will find love."

No, there isn't and no, love isn't guaranteed.

18.

Someone told me I was "polluting their space with my sadness." I asked what they meant because I and they said they could feel a "deep sadness" in me and my presence was harmful.

Like... what.

19.

"You're really pretty for a chubby girl." Yeahhhh thaaaankkksss.

20.

"I just strive to be an honest person. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Yeah okay.

21.

"Why can't you just be happy?"

I don't know Karen, why can't i?

22.

"Family is meant to hurt and forgive."

No, it's actually not.

23.

"Happiness is a choice."

Is it though.

24.

"Life will be easier if you just accept that you'll be doing most of the housework." This was my ex-boyfriends mom in response to a conversation about my ex-boyfriend not doing house chores.

Something along the lines of “you have as many hours in the day as Beyoncé.” I just can’t even begin with how much I hate everything about that.

25.

"If I can do it, you can do it."

26.

"Having expectations on relationships only leads to disappointment." So I'm just supposed to put up with however THEY want to treat me?

27.

"You're not like the other girls."

28.

"You either trust me, or you don't. Trust doesn't get built."

Actually... it does.

A YouTube video opened my eyes to how body positivity can be toxic. I've realized I'm just body-neutral.

I don't think my body is beautiful and I don't have to! I'm more than my body and I'm at peace with it even if I wish some things were different.

They don't affect my self-esteem.

"Well, everyone has a little bit of depression here and there." ok and that's supposed to make me feel better or something?

29.

"You are only hurting yourself when you are crying look I'm unaffected."

"Don't waste your time worrying about it." Sorry but I can't help it

30.

"It's not your situation. It's about how you react to it."

I'm sorry but how am I supposed to react to sexual assault in the workplace.

31.

"Fake it til you make it"

Ugh, the worst.

32.

"Just keep eating. Don't worry about how much. Eat until you're happy. " No thanks.

Mixing food and emotions can result to a lot more issues than just being unhappy.

33.

"Lean in more." Told to me by the HR team when I asked for a meeting about sexism in the office.

34.

"The act of smiling makes you feel better, so even if you're feeling really bad you can start smiling and eventually your feelings will catch up."

When I vent I don't enjoy a certain aspect of my jobs to a friend/colleague: "but it won't be any different in a different field"

Well thank you that is very relevant

35.

"It's not you, it's me." The classic.

We've pretty much all heard some of these phrases and some of us may have said them. There isn't always ill intent when saying something like these phrases.

Safe to say that a lot of us will start thinking twice when responding to someone who's venting to use or explaining a difficult situation.

Let us know in the comments below if you've ever had an experience with toxic positivity before.

Daphnie