Friend Can't Take Hint, Expresses Excitement To Be Thirdwheel On Married Friends' Romantic Trip Abroad

Their other friends invited themselves to the trip but eventually backed out, except for Chad who has been excited about it since.

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• September 1, 2024

A married couple is headed to their first-anniversary celebration abroad. OP and her husband planned a two-week vacation in a foreign country to mark the occasion.

They designed a trip meant for the two of them and have been excited since it was their first trip overseas. However, their plans quickly shifted into a group trip when their friends overheard them discussing the holiday.

OP said that neither she nor her husband invited their ten friends. They just started planning a group trip as if that had been the case all along.

OP told their friends they wouldn't alter their plans for them but said they were welcome to tag along. OP's only compromise was to book an Airbnb instead of a hotel room.

OP eventually got excited about the idea of a trip with their friends. As months passed, their friends opted out of the vacation.

They had different reasons, but OP understood it was unlikely in the first place since most of them decided on the spot. One friend, Chad, was still excited to go on the trip with OP and her husband.

Chad would be a third wheel the whole trip. He hasn't traveled alone, so OP didn't expect him to plan solo activities he could do without them.

He doesn't have a passport and hasn't booked a ticket.

OP wondered if she would be a jerk to uninvite Chad on her anniversary trip with her husband.

A commenter advised OP not to worry about Chad, especially since he hasn't made any preparations to go on the trip.

I fear an awkward conversation is unavoidable since Chad seems so excited about the holiday.

Is Chad aware that all of their other friends backed out of the vacation?

OP and her husband wouldn't have the romantic first anniversary vacation they planned if they have to worry about Chad the whole time.

If Chad wants to start traveling, what's stopping him from planning a trip himself?

OP could let Chad down gently. She could explain why it wouldn't be ideal for the three of them to be on an anniversary trip together.

OP's and her husband's mistake is entertaining the proposal for a group vacation in the first place. They should have made it clear to their friends right off the bat that this was their anniversary celebration.

The conversation doesn't have to be awkward or contentious. There is a way to break the news to Chad while making it clear it was not up for negotiation.

Being passive or waiting for Chad to back out of the trip himself is too much of a gamble.

In the unlikely case of this repeating, OP and her husband should shut it down immediately to avoid this conflict.

The longer they wait to break the news to Chad, the more awkward the conversation will be. His excitement would heighten and once they tell him he couldn't go, they would look like bad friends for giving him false hope.

As the last commenter said, OP and her husband should put their adult pants on and just talk to Chad. The issue wouldn't be resolved without a conversation.

Chelsi