20 Bizarre ‘Shower-Thoughts’ About Marriage That Are Wildly Accurate

The quirky truths behind ‘I do.’

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• March 12, 2024

We’ve all had those moments of clarity in the shower, where deep thoughts hit us harder than the water. It’s like a mini epiphany spa session but with ideas bubbling up alongside the soap suds.

But why do these cosmic brain blasts happen in the shower anyway? Well, it's simple, really. The shower provides a sacred sanctuary where we can let our guards down, and our minds run wild. Plus, the absence of distractions gives the brain free rein to explore the deepest corners of our consciousness.

But enough with the psychoanalysis—let’s dive into the main event. Have you ever taken a moment to ponder on the topsy-turvy yet remarkable institution called marriage in those secluded moments of pure bliss? Well, the esteemed Redditors of the r/Showerthoughts subreddit sure have. 

r/Showerthoughts is like the holy grail meeting point of all epiphanies where diverse minds offer up their most profound thoughts for our consumption and dissection. The topic lately? Marriage. 

Believe me, these shower thoughts are equal parts weird and wonderful, not to mention witty and totally relatable (even for those of us waving the single flag proudly). 

But hey, don’t take my word for it. Let’s dive right in and explore 20 hilariously accurate reflections about marriage that will leave you nodding in agreement and perhaps reevaluating your own relationship status. 

Seeking a life partner: Must have zero experience

Your wife is technically your ex-girlfriend

“In the sacred bond we forge this day, I vow to never defy thy matrimonial linen with neither lord nor lady for as long as I live.”

Because if the parents are already ‘stanning,’ who can be against them?

Well, that’s one way to put it

Marriage: The long-term investment in your future M*LF

A premium you pay for the ‘free’ version of s*x. Note: cancellation fees also apply.

A very high-stakes pinky promise with dire (and expensive) consequences awaiting those who dare break it. Chilling.

“Fellowship of the rings.”

The official sign-off from love's labor.

If you think marriage is expensive, wait till you see the breakup bill

The true test of marriage? Surviving the lifespan of your wedding gifts

“But mom, just because there’s no breathable oxygen on his planet doesn’t mean we can’t build a happy life together!”

The 'I do' is just the start of a marathon, not a victory lap.

“II promise to love and cherish you, dear Sire.”

So you’re saying it’s just a fancy way to beg?

Spend less on the party and more on the actual partnership.

Hmmm, Marquis may be on to something

In some cases, even q-tips stick around longer than your partner

A warped version of ‘Survivor’ where winning comes at the cost of the one you love.

As we bid farewell to this tour of marriage shower thoughts, one thing is abundantly clear: the human mind is filled with wit, which reveals itself in the most unexpected places.

So, whether you're single, hitched, or somewhere in between, let's raise a toast to the endless capacity of the human mind—and the enduring institution we call marriage.

Cheers to love, laughter, and the occasional shower thought!

Do you have any exciting shower thoughts about marriage to add to this list?

Jesse