Soon-To-Be Parents Dread The Religious-Themed Baby Shower Their Mothers Planned For Them Without Asking First
When you don't establish boundaries, other people end up running your life in for you. It's a lesson a couple learned after announcing their pregnancy.
Their mothers immediately went into planning mode. OP's mom and her mother-in-law asked what they planned to do for her baby shower.
The couple shared what they had in mind. Their mothers shut their ideas down and began planning a shower without consulting OP or her partner.
Their moms want a Christian-themed baby shower. OP and her partner are both agnostic — a fact that their moms know about.
OP was surprised by her mom's and MIL's reaction to the pregnancy. Neither of them had shown domineering tendencies prior to the couple's happy announcement.
They have been getting on OP's last nerve with their change in attitude. They have been relentlessly criticizing the couple's own plans for their baby's nursery and name.
OP's mom informed her of the theme they landed on. OP hated it and said as much to her mom which upset her.
OP's MIL didn't allow her to see the decorations they had already bought because they wanted OP to be surprised. The expecting mother's anxiety is intensifying with all that is happening.
She hates surprises. It doesn't help that her mom and MIL keep berating her about her choices for her baby's name because they don't approve of any of them.
Something did change when OP and her partner went on a short vacation with some relatives
u/throwawayaccount7911OP found out her mom was not nearly as involved as her MIL was
u/throwawayaccount7911OP's MIL was left at home to watch over their dog
u/throwawayaccount7911She went into their master bedroom and cleaned it. Took their already clean clothes and washed them back at her place. She even threatened to sue for grandparents rights if OP and her partner can't maintain a clean home.
u/throwawayaccount7911OP's partner also finally had enough of his mother's intrusion and told her to stop buying things for their baby's nursery because they have a plan already in place
u/throwawayaccount7911OP felt that her MIL invaded her home. Good thing is, her partner and his mom are not speaking because of what happened. For the curious, the theme the moms planned for the baby shower was Noah's Ark.
u/throwawayaccount7911
Why would you try to protect the feelings of adults who don't respect you? OP and her partner need to realize they have the final say with everything that concerns their child.
abitsheeepish
They don't have to relinquish control to their parents because this baby is not theirs to raise.
abitsheeepish
It's time to establish to difficult yet necessary boundaries
DRanged691
OP and her partner need to come up with a plan on how to deal with their moms because this dynamic is unsustainable in the long run
elohra_2013
Grandparents don't need to know about the baby's name before they're born. Their opinions shouldn hold no weight in OP's household.
rebelmumma
OP and her partner should nip this issue in the bud. If they allow either moms to have a say on their family life, it will only escalate in the future.
real_live_mermaid
They are about to become parents. They need to be more assertive if they want to model the right behaviors to their child.
Things will get messy really fast if they allow either of their parents to meddle in their home life. They are important people, but they don't get to make parenting decisions for them.
