5 Toxic Phrases Commonly Used By Parents That Could Be Damaging Their Kids

Think before you speak—your child’s self-worth depends heavily on it.

Jesse

• Published in News
• November 9, 2024

There’s something no one really tells you when you step into the world of parenting: it’s a wild mix of the best moments in life and some of the most challenging. 

Between the giggles, bedtime stories, and sticky fingers painting masterpieces on your living room wall, there lies the responsibility of molding tiny humans into well-rounded adults. But in the chaos of daily life—when the dishes are piling up, and the deadlines are creeping in—it’s easy for words to fly out of our mouths without much thought.

Now, these words might seem harmless in the heat of the moment, but words can linger. And, if repeated, they can become a soundtrack in your child’s mind that’s difficult to turn off. 

This is where the idea of “toxic parenting” comes in—a term that may sound harsh but is important to understand. It doesn’t mean a parent is inherently bad; rather, it highlights how certain repeated behaviors can harm a child’s sense of self-worth and emotional development 

While many parenting phrases pass through generations like treasured heirlooms, not all should make the cut. Recognizing these harmful phrases is the first step toward fostering a nurturing environment where children feel safe, loved, and supported. 

So, what are these common yet damaging phrases, and why should they be banished from our parenting vocabulary? Let’s take a look at five examples of what not to say to your children and why.

Words can build or break these little fragile minds. Let yours be one of guidance, not pain.

1. “I'm disappointed in you!”

We’ve all felt that wave of frustration when a child makes a mistake, especially when you’ve given the same advice a hundred times. But using disappointment as a weapon can be crushing. 

Kids already know when they mess up. They need guidance to understand what went wrong and how to do better, not an added heap of guilt.

2. "Stop crying immediately!"

Imagine you’re having a rough day, and someone tells you to "get over it.” Not exactly comforting, right? Kids need to know that it’s okay to feel and express their feelings—even if it involves tears.

Instead of shutting down their tears, let them know they’re heard. Over time, this helps them learn how to manage their emotions healthily.

3. "You're just useless!"

Ouch. This phrase isn’t just toxic—it’s poison. Labeling a child in such a harsh way leaves a mark that can take a lifetime to undo. If they’re struggling, step in with support, not judgment. 

Remind them that learning is part of growing and skills take time to master. This simple shift can do wonders for their self-esteem.

4. "You don't have what it takes!"

This is the emotional equivalent of planting a “no confidence” seed in your child’s mind—one that's sure to grow and take root. It’s a surefire way to breed self-doubt. 

Kids crave approval and validation, so telling them they aren’t capable makes them second-guess everything. Swap out the critique for a nudge in the right direction and the message, “I believe in you.”

5. "Stop being such a baby!"

We get it; patience runs thin—but kids face a world full of new and intimidating experiences. Fear is a normal and even healthy part of life that, when faced and understood, leads to growth. 

Telling them not to be ‘a baby’ belittles their fears and makes them second-guess their instincts. Instead, encourage them to explore those fears and help them see that bravery means facing the scary stuff, not hiding from it.

Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present and mindful of the impact your actions have. So, next time frustration creeps up, pause, breathe, and choose words that uplift. Trust me, your future adult child will thank you.

Jesse