Teen Asks If It's Wrong To Worry Only About The Financial Aspect Of Parents' Divorce

"It’s an amicable divorce between two people who no longer love each other, it’s hardly tragic."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• August 25, 2023

At the age of 17, the young man finds himself in a peculiar position. His parents, aged 46 and 44, have recently decided to get divorced.

It wasn't a messy break-up; no cheating or major issue caused it. They simply realized they were no longer right for each other.

The young man's reaction to this news was rather different from his 19-year-old sister's. He's not upset or disturbed; instead, he feels that his parents' decision to separate is a mature one, and if they no longer love each other, it's probably the right move for them.

His only initial concern was about his college tuition. Being a junior in high school, he's on the cusp of his college journey, and he naturally worries about how his parents' new financial situation might impact his education.

However, after they assured him they would still split the costs, his worry disappeared. His sister, though, took the news hard and criticized him for not caring more.

She accused him of being 'heartless' for only worrying about the financial impact of the divorce and not about their family 'breaking apart.' The young man is left questioning if he is in the wrong, given his sister's reaction.

He sees no reason to be upset about an amicable divorce, while she views it as a tragedy. It’s an interesting situation that highlights how differently family members can react to the same news.

The young man’s practical approach contrasts sharply with his sister’s emotional response, raising questions about empathy, concern, and what family members owe to each other. Is it wrong for him to be concerned only about the financial aspect of the divorce?

Is his sister's reaction more appropriate, or is there no right or wrong way to feel about something as personal as a family divorce?

OP asks:

At the age of 17, the young man finds himself in a peculiar position. His parents, aged 46 and 44, have recently decided to get divorced.

His only initial concern was about his college tuition

His sister, though, took the news hard and criticized him for not caring more.

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

"Different people are going to process this differently."

"The philosophy of the stoics..."

Maybe the sister needs someone that understands what she is going through

Not everyone needs to feel the same

A divorce can actually be a happy event sometimes

Her sister was away at college, and was probably idealizing the marriage

The bottom line is:

This young man's reaction to his parents' divorce is not heartless or wrong. Instead, it reflects a perspective that's both rational and perhaps a bit typical of his age.

Being 17 and on the brink of adulthood, he sees the world through a lens that prioritizes practical matters, such as his college tuition. Simultaneously, his emotional detachment from his parents' decision reflects a realistic understanding of adult relationships.

While empathy and concern for others are valuable qualities, it is not fair to expect everyone to respond to events in the same emotional way.

Damjan