Hopeful Aunt Who Betrayed Her Family's Trust Several Times Wants To Reconnect, But Her Niece Wants To Maintain No-Contact

The said aunt stole money from her niece's family, which led to a legal battle.

May

• Published in Interesting
• December 24, 2023

Family estrangement can be tough to handle. Sometimes, distancing ourselves from family becomes essential to shield ourselves from those relatives who might not respect our boundaries or engage in hurtful behavior.

Taking such a step is about prioritizing our well-being when dealing with dysfunctional family circumstances. People shouldn't be forced to be the bigger person if they know in their hearts that they're not ready to forgive.

Today's story from the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit is about a woman who prefers not to let one person into her life once again after what happened in the past. According to the original poster (OP), her aunt — who stole money from her parents — wants to reconnect through a lunch meet-up.

The OP adds that the whole affair caused emotional distress and even a court battle. The situation worsened during the OP's grandmother's illness when the aunt displayed callous behavior, neglecting her own mother's well-being.

Her intrusive actions, such as spying on the OP's computer activities and sharing private phone calls with the family, further strained relationships. The OP's brother advocates for forgiveness and suggests meeting up with Lola to be the "better person."

Despite her brother's advice, the OP feels content without her aunt in her life and questions whether she could bring anything positive. The OP also wonders if declining the invitation to reconnect would make her the a-hole.

The OP wonders if not letting her aunt in her life once again would make her an a-hole.

The OP's dad tells her that her aunt has changed for the better and wants to reconnect.

The problem is that it has been a decade since they've last spoken. The OP is content without the aunt in her life.

On top of stealing her family's money, the aunt has other deeds she simply can't forgive.

Her aunt also invaded her privacy in the past.

The OP's brother encourages her to forgive her aunt, but it's not easy for her.

Being the bigger person = Your boundaries aren't important

The brother's advice doesn't apply to this situation.

Some Redditors smell something fishy. They feel like the aunt has an ulterior motive.

The OP not choosing to reconnect is the consequences of the aunt's past actions.

The brother needs to understand that he can't force his sister to forgive their aunt.

Redditors aren't a fan of the advice of "being the better person."

Forgiveness has to come from the OP. Besides, as users have pointed out, it was the aunt who wronged the OP's family.

In other words, "being the better person" doesn't apply in this situation. And if anybody needs to be the bigger and better person, it needs to be the aunt.

She needs to accept that after what she has done, things cannot go back to the way they were. She can't force anyone to build a relationship, especially since she was the one who burned the bridge in the first place.

That's why the OP can never be the a-hole in this situation.

May