Here Are Seven Signs From Divorce Lawyers To Show You If Your Marriage Is Working Or Not
People get married because they obviously love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together.Right? But then problems arise as the years go on and as you get older you tend to adjust differently to situations and circumstances making you react differently to problems.
This can cause a rise in marital problems and can lead your marriage to be fine the one moment and disastrous the next. Nobody wants this to happen, in fact, everyone just wants to be happily married for years to come.
That is why these divorce lawyers pointed out seven signs for us to recognize if our marriages are on the rocks or not.
Money problems
Money, money, money! This is the reason why most people fight especially married couples if there is no communication about money and where it goes.
PnterestA lawyer from Oakbrook, Kathryn Harry said the following regarding financial problems: “Often times, when one party finds out that the other party filed for bankruptcy before or during the marriage, it ruins that party’s ability to trust in the other party,” she said. “Just as troubling is the spouse who does not freely disclose the amount of bonus money he/she received from his/her employment.
No communication
Giving someone the silent treatment is our way of punishing the person that we are fighting with. We all have experienced this with a partner and even our mothers do it to us as children to make us feel bad. The lesson here is that communication is key and don't do silent treatments it never works! Furthermore, Evie Jeang the founder of Ideal legal group gave this advice for couples who do the silent treatment:
“This is essentially the kiss of death for couples because it leads to feelings of resentment. Being able to work through issues that arise paves the way for resolution,”
FotosearchBig little lies
A lie is a lie whether it is big or small, and keeping a valuable secret from your partner does classify as a lie! Rather be honest and tell the truth than hurt your partner with a lie.
Getty imagesAn attorney at Horack Talley, Will Medlin said that one secret can turn into many and he gave this advice to couples: “A spouse suddenly becoming secretive — changing passwords to online access to bank accounts, changing email accounts, or changing or implementing phone passwords — can be a sign of infidelity.”
Dominancy
You need to be on the same level with your spouse regarding anything from money or taking action with something that will influence both your lives because as soon as one of you are more dominant than the other and controlling it will not end well.
Las Vegas lawyer Shaolaine Loving shared this thought with us: “When one spouse controls the money flow in the house, this tends to breed resentment and a feeling of inferiority from the other spouse.”
GettyShe provided us whether you're in a marriage or not with a good example of being overcontrolling: "For instance, where a husband makes more or all of the money in the marriage and does not allow access to the money to the other spouse without the husband dispensing it." this will lead to “Inevitably, women in this type of arrangement feel enslaved in a negative way, where they feel like they don’t make choices over their own lives.”
This is exactly what happens with most housewives that decide to stay at home to look after the children.
Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder
You need to spend some quality time with your spouse whenever you get a chance and when they are not around or missing in action a lot at night time then there might be something going on.
GettyAmy Saunders identified the signs that you need to look out for if your spouse is absent a lot, “If your spouse is buying lots of new clothes, losing weight, going to the gym, and abnormally focusing on their appearance, while also having missing gaps of time, chances are there is an affair or a potential for one.”
Addiction to substances
Addiction is an evil thing whether it is to alcohol or powder substances it is never good for any person, especially when you are in a relationship with someone that is an addict it can affect your relationship for the worse.
Jeffrey J. Kash shared his advice: “Some of my clients have knowingly married a troubled person with the idea that he/she could be saved. Usually, they can’t,” and he further said that: "Marriage does not fix mental health or addiction problems and often an addict needs to lose the support of his or her loved ones in order to decide to get help."
The GuardianGrowing apart
This is the last, but one of the most important ones. Growing apart is a sign that the marriage is severely going downhill and something needs to be done as quickly as possible.
GettyEric Klein from Klein Attorneys said that: "At some point in a marriage, the couple reaches a fork in the road where one spouse goes to the right and the other goes to the left, to the point where they have nothing left in common." he provided an example of a situation that no couple ever wants to reach, “These are the couples you see at restaurants sitting across the table from each other in silence.”
We have now heard it from the professionals that deal with these seven signs each and every day. So get up and show up for your spouse and try your best to make things work even when it doesn't seem to go anywhere, every little bit helps.
