Man Shares Sad Story Of How His Job Destroyed His Marriage Hoping To Inspire Others To Prioritize What Matters

“I embraced the grind lifestyle. Worked late, worked weekends, worked holidays and on vacation while my wife sat around by herself.”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• April 25, 2022

It's common for us humans to want to have everything figured out early. We're eager to find that dream job, the perfect partner, an amazing social life, and optimal health.

Unfortunately, things don't always turn out the way we expect them to. Even though a work-life balance is an ultimate objective for many, when one side thrives, the other almost always suffers.

Being willing to go above and beyond at work doesn't always translate into success. Instead, it could be the beginning of a sad and frustrated life, as one man's tale demonstrates.

In a recent post on the Anti Work subreddit, user dailybrood32 described how his high-stress job compelled him to work long hours. Apparently, his bosses convinced him that all his hard work will be worth it in the long run.

However, putting so much focus on his job (while neglecting his wife) eventually ruined his marriage. An 8-year union was gone in the twinkle of an eye! 

In his words,

I adopted a workaholic way of life. Worked late, worked weekends, worked holidays and on vacation while my wife sat around by herself.

He was so focused on securing a better future that he lost sight of what is genuinely important: living in the present. Let's take a deep dive into this unfortunate story.

In a bid to climb the corporate ladder an provide a better life for his wife, he ended up loosing what mattered most

"My job ruined my marriage. A cautionary tale"

He worked late, on weekends, and even on vacation while his wife sat around by herself

The author explained that he was chasing the pot of gold because he wanted to buy his wife a house

She ended up leaving, ending their 8-year marriage

Unfortunately, the bonus and raise he was hoping for were never paid. All the hard work and even the loss of his wife ended up being for nothing

The author ended his story with a powerful message to readers, "If you're lucky enough to find someone who loves you, focus on that and never let go."

The positivity from readers was overwhelming

In no time, dailybrood32's post garnered more than 237,000 upvotes and 2,400 comments. People responded in all kinds of ways after he disclosed how his desire for a family and a good life backfired on him — with everything from contempt to compassion and people sharing their own similar experiences.

With so many responses, the author wrote;

I was trying to give my wife a good life. I admitted I made the wrong choice. Not looking for sympathy, trying to warn you to avoid my mistakes.

Also, he revealed that he is a lawyer, so when some individuals expressed concern about the legal ramifications of his conduct, he assured them that he would not be sued. Phew.

Finally, dailybrood32 shared that he has already found a new job and is seeing someone else. As his situation gradually improves, the author hopes that other members of Ask Reddit will learn from his story.

It's never too late to do something about your situation if it's mirrored in this story. Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant, told Business Insider:

By recognizing the early symptoms and being proactive, you can better learn to separate work from your personal life—and be successful in both.

You must first be honest with yourself and admit that you have issues that need to be addressed. Keep an eye out for signs that your work life is taking over your personal life, such as bringing work-related issues home, if your office activities dominate your conversations, and, most importantly, if your partner is growing weary of it.

Taylor explained further:

You may be fortunate enough to have a partner who has a high tolerance to ‘feeling your pain,’ but that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting them personally.

Ask yourself:

Would you be worn out by the frequency or toxicity of the conversation over time?

You can also ask your closest friends and family members if they believe that work is the primary topic in your conversations with them. If they answer in the affirmative, then it only serves to confirm your suspicion.

But even if they deny it, that doesn't still mean it doesn't happen at home — So ask your partner to be 100% sure.

Before you broach the subject of that morning’s staff meeting or the project due by Friday, catch yourself and ask your partner if the topic is evoking too much concern or frustration. Tell them that you greatly appreciate their honesty because you value your personal time with them and need a reality check occasionally, Tailor advised.

This is how other Reddit users reacted to the story:

"My wife just complained about the same thing"

"I left my recent job because i saw it having an effect on my marriage"

"I used to work overtime on weekends thinking it was worth it"

"Overtime is a waste of life"

"I'm not working anymore and it feels even better to know that I'm not ruining my health for the profit of a handful of greedy people"

"Your boss is not your friend and you don't owe them or your employer any special favors"

"I quit my job...I couldn't spend any time with my fiancé because of all their mandatory overtime"

"I'm sorry you had to go through all you did OP"

"The bosses got all their raise and bonuses. OP was just a good little worker bee"

"I hope things get better for you"

"This makes me feel better about staying home with my wife"

"You only get one crack at life, spend it on things that really matter to you"

"My dad put in all the hours for decades and died at 55"

"I worked like this when I was single"

"I'm a teacher and this really hits home for me"

Self-reflection and an analysis of your work-life balance are essential. A career coach or therapist may be able to help you if you discover that your spouse is dissatisfied with your work spilling over into your personal life.

If you've concluded that your job isn't worth jeopardizing your relationship for, talk it over with your spouse, establish a plan, and include them in the decision-making process.

Jesse