Redditor's Wife Doesn't Want To Spend Any Holidays With His Mom But Demands They Spend Them With Her Parents

"She said I need to act like a grown man and put my feelings aside for the good of the family."

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• November 8, 2022

Family relationships are always so complex. It requires a lot of understanding, communication, and devotion to the other side.

If you lack any of these, you'll probably have large problems and disagreements with even the simplest and everyday things. In marriage, nothing is just black and white, there is a whole spectrum of colors, and to understand them, you need to understand your partner.

But the most significant is a desire to make your partner happy and content. If either partner only looks after his own needs, then understanding and good mutual relations are not even in sight.

This problem seems to have a Reddit user with his wife. He shared his story online, searching for the right approach because his own apparently went unheard and yielded no results.

Every holiday they took their children to their grandparents, either his or hers. But a few years ago, his wife decided they would no longer spend holidays with his mom because she's extremely rude and doesn't appreciate them enough.

Although this was a difficult determination for him, he also knew she had a right and agreed. Besides, he didn't want to harm their relationship with his mom's rudeness.

This decision led them to spend every holiday with his wife's family. But he didn't feel comfortable there either, and it was too much for him.

He tried to talk with his wife and explain his feelings. He even suggested that they could make their own tradition for holidays, and spend the holidays with the rest of the family every other year.

His wife wasn't thrilled about this proposition if we can say it in that words, because she didn't even consider his feelings and needs. Let's look at his story below and try to find a reasonable solution together.

Here's his problem:

His mother is not the most pleasant person in the world, so his wife decided they wouldn't spend holidays at her anymore:

So they started spending every holiday at his MIL's home, but he didn't enjoy it at all.

He told his wife that he feels uncomfortable with his in-laws, but...

"She said I need to act like a grown man and put my feelings aside for the good of the family."

Not fair

"He married a woman that is a lot like his mother"

Possible...

Or maybe this:

Obviously, his opinion doesn't matter to his wife:

The similarity is evident:

So inappropriate...

Someone wondered why his mother hadn't told him about the wedding:

And OP explained:

"They honestly sound a lot alike in how they treat other people"

"That's some toxic shit"

OP added:

It would be nice

Or, they should be in a partnership

It's definitely weird

"I feel bad for the guy."

Seems like there is not much difference between his mother's and wife's behavior. But he needs to clarify things with his wife, and marriage counseling could be the right thing to start with.

His feelings matter, and his wife needs to start valuing them. They are in a partnership, so the sooner his wife learns, the better their relationship will become.

Filip