Family Feud Erupts Over Young Woman's Bold Hair Color and Brother's Girlfriend's Religious Beliefs

"Last week I decided to get pretty bold pink highlights and was really happy with them."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• November 10, 2023

In family life, balancing tradition, personal identity, and family expectations is a common challenge. A Reddit user recently faced this dilemma.

OP has an extended family of 25-30 members who regularly gather at the homes of older relatives every 3 weeks to a month. Although she doesn't always attend these gatherings due to disagreements with some family members, she occasionally joins because having the entire family together is important.

Most of her family members are religious, and some of the older generation hold traditional beliefs. OP recently got bold pink highlights in her mousy brown hair and was pleased with the change.

During one of these gatherings, her brother introduced his new girlfriend to the family, and it was the first time many of them met her. However, it was apparent that the girlfriend didn't like OP's hair, though she didn't express this directly.

She engaged in a brief conversation with OP before politely walking away. Later, after most people had left the gathering, OP's brother confronted her. He accused her of being inconsiderate for dyeing her hair right before the event, knowing that his girlfriend was extremely religious.

He argued that OP's actions had left a negative impression on his girlfriend and accused her of seeking attention, particularly from the younger family members who admired her colorful hair. Some of OP's aunts and older cousins sided with her brother and suggested that she should be content with the hair she was born with.

Now, OP is seeking input from Reddit to determine whether she is in the wrong in this situation

OP's family holds monthly gatherings, and while she doesn't always go because of personal differences, OP values the family's unity.

Recently, OP dyed her brown hair with pink highlights, and it seemed like her brother's new girlfriend disapproved, even though she didn't express it openly during their first meeting.

OP's brother criticized her for dyeing her hair in a bold way, at a family gathering, citing his girlfriend's religious beliefs and accusing OP of attention-seeking. Some family members support his viewpoint.

What is the connection between religious beliefs and personal appearance choices?

OP's brother is missing the point of religious scripture, which is about being a good person and not judgmental.

OP's brother is unfair.

Many religious people should distinguish between their choices and others' freedom.

OP's brother shouldn't dictate her life choices, including her hair color.

His girlfriend's insecurity isn't OP's responsibility.

Her judgment about OP's hair is her issue.

Some individuals' religious beliefs can lead to unkind behavior.

OP shouldn't engage with religious extremists who criticize personal choices like clothing and glasses.

Body autonomy is a basic human right.

OP did nothing wrong in this situation. People need to be themselves and make choices that make them happy, like changing their hair color.

While it's okay for OP's brother's girlfriend to have her likes and dislikes, it's not fair to blame OP for how she felt. OP didn't try to spoil the event on purpose; she was just being herself.

Also, saying that OP was seeking attention doesn't make sense. People have the right to show who they are, and having colorful hair is just a way of doing that.

It's not about wanting attention; it's about expressing oneself. The fact that kids and teens liked her hair is because they thought it was cool, not because she was trying to get attention.

In families, it's important to support each other's choices and be understanding instead of blaming or judging. It's not fair that some family members took sides against OP without trying to understand her point of view.

OP did nothing wrong, and her brother and those who supported him should try to be more understanding and accepting of her choices.

Damjan