Former Gymnast Feels Betrayed As Husband Enrolls Daughter Despite Her Warnings About Toxicity In Sports

He sure did a lot of contortions to justify his decision

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• February 10, 2024

A Redditor's wife felt betrayed when he signed their 6-year-old daughter up for gymnastics classes. Refusing to believe he did anything wrong, OP went on Reddit to see which parent acted in their daughter's best interest.

OP's wife started gymnastics when she was four years old and stopped when she was 18. She quit due to stress injuries and realized years later how much she hated her experience.

She told OP it was a toxic atmosphere, and the sport gave her an eating disorder. OP didn't believe his wife's claims and said, "She did it for 14 years, so I don't know how bad that was."

Their daughter found out that her mom was a gymnast last Christmas. OP's parents-in-law showed his wife's gymnastic photos and medals to his daughter.

His daughter was impressed and was convinced that gymnastics was the coolest thing. She expressed her interest in joining the sport like her mom did.

OP decided to look for gymnastics classes when his daughter reiterated her interest in the sport a month later. Once he found a reputable gym, he asked his daughter if she was sure about becoming a gymnast.

OP signed her up when she confirmed that she was interested. He told his wife about their daughter's new activity when she got home from work.

She got upset and reminded OP of her unpleasant gymnastics experience. She felt betrayed that OP signed their daughter up for classes without discussing it with her.

However, she acknowledged their daughter's genuine excitement over gymnastics and felt it would be unfair to stop her from attending.

Their daughter loved her first gymnastics lesson. She also made a friend.

OP thought his wife would be over what had happened but realized he was wrong when they got home from the gym.

She told OP that she couldn't overcome how betrayed she felt when he unilaterally decided to enroll their daughter in gymnastics. OP doesn't believe it is an issue, but his wife blames him for putting their daughter in a potentially harmful environment.

Early comments sided with OP and said he was just allowing his daughter to try out new things.

OP said he would stay vigilant as he doesn't want his daughter to have a horrible experience.

Another commenter said they need to make sure they do not become one of those parents who push their kids to excel at the expense of their comfort and health.

OP said his in-laws were primarily the reason why his wife stayed with the sport even when it stopped being fun.

A majority of the comments and understood the situation from his wife's perspective.

They chastized him for dismissing his wife's experience and making the decision by himself despite her warnings.

Even in his reply, OP's tone was intolerable.

How could he understand his wife's trauma when he thinks he knows better than her when she talks about her gymnastics career?

OP said he was willing to have his mind changed on the last part of his post. However, he challenged all of the comments that didn't sympathize with him.

OP should have discussed this with his wife. He should have asked why she was hesitant about their daughter joining the sport. He could have asked her to elaborate on her experiences.

They should have vetted the class and the coaches together. Those actions would have reassured his wife that they agreed on how they should handle their daughter's new interest in case it went wrong or if she ended up enjoying it.

OP should have listened to his wife more and followed her lead because she has first-hand experience with gymnastics. His dismissive attitude about what she went through and the subsequent fear of their daughter experiencing the same should embarrass OP.

If OP took the advice given to him by Redditors, he would apologize to his wife. Then, they could attend one of their daughter's classes together and discuss what warning signs to look out for.

Chelsi