How Growing Up Poor Shapes Lives In Ways The Wealthy Will Never Understand

Reddit stories reveal the lasting emotional toll of growing up poor, even after the money struggles end.

Damjan

• Published in Community
• October 27, 2024

Growing up poor can shape a person’s life in ways that are hard to understand if you’ve never experienced it. Money struggles often affect how people view spending, security, and even relationships, and these effects can last long after their financial situation improves.

A recent discussion on Reddit brought this into focus. One user, PrestonRoad90, asked others who grew up poor to share what they believe wealthier people will never fully understand about their experience. The conversation quickly took off, with thousands of replies showing how deeply poverty can affect a person.

The stories shared on the thread clearly show the emotional and practical challenges of growing up without enough money. People talked about everyday sacrifices, constant worries over bills, and how these experiences have shaped their views on life.

Money struggles don’t just affect a person’s finances—they also take an emotional toll. Many people shared that growing up poor made them feel embarrassed or ashamed, especially when comparing themselves to wealthier kids. This shame can lead to low self-esteem and feeling like they aren’t good enough, even as adults.

Even after achieving success, some people still feel like they are at risk of losing everything. They feel insecure, always wondering if their hard-earned stability could disappear.

This emotional weight often affects their decisions, whether in their careers, relationships, or even simple choices like buying something nice for themselves.

A Reddit user brought up the topic.

Being poor is very expensive.

"Being poor is very expensive. For example, if you're unable to afford to pay a speeding ticket, it will accrue late fees, making it even harder to pay off.

If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, Payday Loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates so you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed.

If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly to fix."

Poverty means constant planning.

"You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling that you should be doing/making/fixing something. Poverty means constant planning - for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis."

Anxiety at the cash register.

"The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there’s nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it’s the cheapest possible price, but somehow it’s still too expensive. That feeling never goes away."

"How little activities like “bring valentines for everyone in class” or “let’s hold a bake sale” were stressful AF.'

"How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty. "

"When you are starving and there's nothing to eat so the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up you won't feel so hungry."

The constant fear of running out of money.

"The constant fear of running out of money that creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances. 

I grew up poor and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carved out a pretty comfortable life but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens. Like supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always "money can run out". ."

"That Sugar toast is an acceptable dinner."

"Being bullied for being poor."

Food insecurity.

"Food insecurity. I’m 60 and even now having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat..no seconds."

Relationships matter.

"How much relationships matter. You're alot safer in a dangerous neighborhood if you know and have good allies/friends in the neighborhood. It's alot easier to share a bedroom with four or so other people if you like those people. You can't afford that new car part, but if you know that dude in the neighborhood who fixes cars, he might hook you up for a little cash. Etc etc. TLDR: having solid, good relationships with people you have history with can make a WORLD of difference."

"Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket.Used to get excited about it until I realized why."

"Amount of time feeling powerless.'

Parents are not able to provide support into adulthood.

"Your parents not being able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn’t come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is “talk to your parents”."

Car repairs.

"How stupid the phrase "it'll cost more to repair it than it's worth" is when it comes to car repairs.

It doesn't matter if that s**tbox isn't worth $500; a $600 repair that you're going to have to beg, borrow, and steal to afford is still cheaper than coming up with a down payment, monthly payments, full coverage insurance, etc that you need for a decent used car.

Also, just how many laws and proposed laws utterly f**k over the poor. Emission inspections being a big one."

"Small problems become large ones when you don't have adequate savings Any extra expense can be catastrophic."

Mother wears 20+ year-old worn-out clothing.

Probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant.

"As a fellow poor kid, the stinky kid in class probably didn’t have deodorant/couldn’t afford the proper deodorant. It still could be true for the stinky poor adult in your life. Be mindful and considerate sometimes."

"Being excluded from just about everything."

Poor people spend on what brings them joy when possible rather than solely saving for necessities.

Basic needs are luxury.

Not being able to afford groceries due to a price increase.

"You fix things yourself."

"Being told: "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."."

"Some things can be cheap or low price and still not affordable."

"Money doesn't buy happiness" Ahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Healthcare.

Making ends meet.

Hunger.

Worrying about basic needs.

The experiences shared in the Reddit discussion show how deeply growing up poor can affect a person, even after they’ve improved their financial situation. While economic hardship can be overcome, the emotional scars and habits formed during those tough times often stay with people for life.

It can be difficult for those who have always had enough money to fully understand these struggles. But by listening to these stories, we can better understand the lasting impact of poverty and the resilience it often builds in people.

Damjan