This Simple Analogy May Help You Better Cope With Grief

There's no miracle solution to grief, but this analogy might just help a little

Rachel

• Published in Interesting
• February 26, 2019

The worst part of forming a loving connection with someone is the ever-present thought at the back of your mind that they could one day die and leave you. Sorry, that's the non-sugar coated version!

But the point is: death sucks, and, short of inventing a way to become immortal, it is something we are all going to have to deal with. We can't choose how death affects our lives, and there is no correct way to react to it. There are, however, ways that we can learn to cope with grief. This Twitter thread shows that there are ways that we can normalise the grieving process.

The thread begins with a small incident which inspired the sharing of the story.

This is what grief is:

It can be visualised like this:

In a conversation with Bored Panda, Herschel cited the need for us all to talk about death and the grieving process more.

"It is normal, yet so many people feel like they can’t talk about it, or can only talk about it for a short prescribed period right after someone passes. But grief is a longer journey than that.”

Herschel still utilises this analogy. The ball and the box theory has helped her to normalise her feelings and understand that it is completely okay to still experience feelings of grief.

"The 23rd anniversary of my dad passing was Valentine’s Day," she said. "Old feelings of grief do pop up for sure but now I have a way of making more sense of them, and I also know it’s more normal than I previously thought years ago.”

Herschel included helpful diagrams to help aid her explanation

This shows the large ball moving against the "pain button"

"Over time..."

This diagram shows the ball getting smaller.

Though the ball gets smaller, it may never completely go away.

“The reaction to the tweets has been surprising,” she told Bored Panda. “It kind of comes and goes in waves of people seeing it – which is great. I think it’s one of those things we find when we really need it.”

Herschel's explanation has touched many people; including her own family.

A very wise lady indeed...

There's no shame in missing someone, and no shame in not being able to "get over it." Everyone heals differently.

The "Ball and Box" analogy really resonated with a lot of people

The greiving process isn't the same for any two people...

But there's hope for everyone to make it through.

People loved the theory so much they immediately incorporated it into their own mental health strategies

People shared their own boxes and were able to apply the theory to their own situations

The pain button is a useful way of conceptualising certain emotions

One loss can often lead to memories of another...

and that's okay! There's no shame in feeling the loss of someone close to you.

We need to normalise the way we talk about and acknowledge our feelings.

Especially the ones that aren't so pretty.

It's all about learning to cope; and there's no wrong way to do that.

We're all human and we all process emotion differently.

Normalising grief is an important part of the healing process.

Rachel