Frustrated Partner Considers Skipping Events Due To Girlfriend's Chronic Lateness

"She is super rude and has a bad attitude while we are all getting ready to leave"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• November 8, 2023

In the everyday life of our relationships, some things can get pretty complicated, like being on time and managing our time well. Dealing with these complications can be tough, as one person on Reddit talked about in their own story.

OP has made numerous attempts to encourage her partner to be more punctual and improve her time management skills. However, OP feels powerless in addressing this issue, as punctuality holds great importance to her, seeing it as a way to show respect for others' time, a resource that cannot be replenished.

OP has decided on a course of action moving forward. When her partner causes delays of more than 15 minutes for their appointments or events, OP has chosen not to attend unless it's necessary.

This decision stems from the hope that her partner will take punctuality more seriously once she realizes the seriousness of OP's commitment to being on time. However, OP acknowledges that she does not have high expectations for a sudden behavior change.

The constant tardiness has a significant impact on OP's well-being, leading to stress and anxiety that she strongly dislikes. A recent incident illustrates the situation where OP had to prepare herself and their 4-year-old child for an event entirely on her own, with the hope that her partner would use the extra time to get ready promptly.

Despite OP and the child being ready by 10:40 for an event starting at 11:15, her partner only left at 11:25, leaving no time to reach the destination on time. Consequently, OP chose not to go to the event, although she feels somewhat guilty about her decision.

Additionally, OP mentions that her partner's behavior becomes rude, and she exhibits a negative attitude during the preparations, possibly due to the stress of getting ready on time. OP tries to help by providing time updates but suspects that her partner may not appreciate these reminders.

OP is seeking input on whether she is in the wrong for her actions. It's worth noting that the situation is exacerbated by the fact that they currently only have one car, which limits OP's options for leaving ahead of her partner in case of lateness.

OP's partner is always late, and It causes stress and anxiety to OP that he wants to avoid.

OP got himself and his child ready for an event, but his partner was significantly late, so OP chose not to go and he is wondering if he is in the wrong for this decision.

OP should leave on time, and if she's ready, she can join him; if not, she can catch up later.

A better solution for OP could be to leave without her.

OP is correct that being punctual is about respecting other people's time.

OP needs to avoid getting into debates and remember she's an adult, not someone he needs to teach.

OP could discuss with her how he feels and try to understand her perspective.

Going separately isn't feasible

OP could take the car and leaving her at home if he has plans and she's running late.

Being consistently late is incredibly rude

OP could set clear boundaries because that's essential for any change

Staying behind won't encourage her to change; she needs consequences.

It's crucial to consider the reasons behind OP's partner's behavior. It seems like she might be struggling with time management and might feel stressed during the process of getting ready to leave. Instead of giving ultimatums, which can strain the relationship, OP needs to consider having an open and honest conversation with her about her feelings and concerns.

OP needs to try to understand her perspective and discuss potential solutions together. Perhaps they can both work on creating a more structured routine or finding ways to reduce stress during the preparation process.

Communication and compromise are key in resolving issues like this without causing further tension.

Damjan