Man Who Admired His Girlfriend For Being Driven Now Criticizes Her For Reduced Work Hours For Her Mental Health

He doesn't realize that the girlfriend lessening her workload is a way of taking care of herself.

May

• Published in Interesting
• December 3, 2023

In a perfect world, our partners are the superheroes who swoop in with love and comfort. But let's face it, for some folks, that warm and fuzzy support is MIA.

What stings even more is when your go-to support system, a.k.a. your partner, starts dishing out criticism instead of the usual TLC. It's like ordering a cozy blanket and getting a cold shower – a major bummer!

Today's story shows what the absence of support looks like in a relationship. The original poster (OP) tells the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) community that what he finds his girlfriend of four years admirable is her drive and motivation.

The girlfriend worked tirelessly and served as an inspiration. However, the dynamics shifted as she grappled with family issues, leading to a decline in both her mental health and work hours.

She went through a tough time and got a stress-related injury, which led to her decision to lessen her workload. Even though she got through it, she's now working part-time to focus on her mental health.

The OP is worried about this change, especially if they decide to have kids. He's not sure if this new way of working is feasible.

Expressing these concerns triggered a heated disagreement, with the OP feeling both resentful and disappointed. Now, he's asking if feeling this way makes him the a-hole.

Despite everything that has happened to his girlfriend, he still expects her to maintain the same level of drive and motivation as when they first met.

The OP, who has seen the driven and motivated attitude of his girlfriend, isn't used to seeing her in her moments of vulnerability and reduced motivation.

When he raised his concerns to his girlfriend, she became upset. After all, she's been contributing the same amount of money despite the reduced work hours.

The OP faced a barrage of criticisms from the online community. That's because the girlfriend reducing her workload was a necessary and vital measure for her self-care.

People can die when they're overworked. Does the OP not realize this?

Some users suspect that he might be seeking a sugar mommy in his girlfriend, who has been the higher earner in the relationship.

Looks like the OP only sees his girlfriend as the "bearer of his children."

Even is language is chauvinistic. This is alarming for the girlfriend.

Doesn't the OP recognize that making her work long hours would make her miserable?

People wouldn't be surprised if the girlfriend breaks up with a guy like the OP.

With all the efforts she has made at work and the family challenges she faced, the girlfriend truly deserves a well-earned break. In retrospect, the OP could have been more empathetic and supportive of her need for rest.

Every person has their limits, and recognizing and respecting those limits is essential in a caring relationship. It's crucial for the OP to understand that supporting his girlfriend in times of vulnerability is the foundation of a healthy and enduring partnership.

May