Man Clashes With Transgender Son Over Refusal To Redirect College Fund Toward Gender Transition Surgery

“The rules are clear: college or apartment. Cosmetic surgery is a big no!”

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• March 31, 2024

Our narrator (Original Poster) was a devoted parent of three with a heart set on securing a bright future for his children.  OP and his wife began squirreling away money for their little ones since the stork made its first deliveries.

The goal? A college fund so massive it could rival a small nation's GDP.

Thanks to generous legacies from both sets of grandparents, the savings accounts grew to monumental proportions. The rules were simple but steadfast: college or an apartment. Cosmetic surgery? A firm no.

Until, of course, life threw in a curveball during quarantine when their now-son bravely unveiled his truth—he saw himself as a boy. The family accepted him wholeheartedly; however, trouble began brewing when he wanted a slice of that hefty college fund for a gender transition surgery. 

After a serious discussion between OP and his wife, this request was firmly denied. Not one to back down easily, OP’s son devised another crafty scheme to get his hands on the money. 

He announced that since he wasn’t going to college anyway, he wanted his share for an ‘apartment’ and openly stated his desire to divert it to surgery instead.

This ploy quickly backfired as OP made it clear he was kicking him out to fend for himself as soon as he gave him the ‘apartment’ money. 

OP’s middle child believed he was being too cruel, but his other daughter was in full support. Was he the bad guy for sticking by the rules? 

The story in detail

Some background on the story

One of OP’s kids came out as transgender. Interestingly, he requested to use his own college funds for transition surgery, but OP bluntly refused

Since OP’s son wasn’t interested in college, OP explained that he would release the money for his son to secure an apartment. However, if he choses to use the money for surgery instead, he would still need to move out regardless

OP decision has split the family across different lines with some supporting him, while others are supporting his son

We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community:

An interesting exchange with OP and a commenter

“If he just recently came out, he needs therapy and hormones as a first step, not irreversible, life-altering surgery.”

“YTB. These surgeries are needed to feel at home inside your own body.”

“It's just money at the end of the day, you only have one of him, so let your son's mental health and happiness take priority here.”

“NTB.  Being able to attend school debt free or not have to worry about rent while he figures out his life is a huge gift.“

“Your lording this over your children to dictate their lives.”

Drawing from the wisdom of Reddit's diverse community, the consensus seems to lean towards a more cautious approach. According to a trans community member, rushing into surgery, especially without prior therapy and hormone treatments, can lead to regrets and complications.

The key is taking it slow, seeking professional guidance, and evaluating all options meticulously before diving in. Hopefully, this situation is sorted out amicably between everyone involved.

We’d love to get your thoughts on this story. Join the conversation in the comments.

Jesse