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10+ Things That Certify You A Bonafide Floridian

If 75% or more of these apply to you then you are definitely from Florida.

Elana
  • Published in Funny
10+ Things That Certify You A Bonafide Floridian

When you live in Florida you join an exclusive club. Nothing in the world compares to the experiences you go through as a Floridian. Truly, no one outside of Florida, unless they once lived there themselves, can quite grasp just why Floridians stay put. 

Especially since they are pretty much annually guaranteed multiple chaotic storms (and occasionally guaranteed catastrophic storms,) have pretty much one season year round (really hot and really humid,) and appear to have an alligator problem. But the love affair between Floridians and their precious Florida is truly a spectacle and if you belong to this club than virtually every single one of these identifying factors will apply to you. 

But we will give a little wiggle room and say if you can identify with around 75% of these then you, my friend, are a bonafide, certified Floridian. And you can treat yourself to a Publix sub.

You've lost count!

...Of how many times your iPhone has overheated in the summer weather. You've lost count!Mybrokenphone

You've audibly cursed I-4

It's a love-hate thing. You've audibly cursed I-4Orlando Sentinel

Facebook and Football

You've nearly un-friended your own family members over football rivalries. Facebook and FootballSlate

Sleepless Florida Nights

If you've ever lost a night of sleep due to a chorus of frogs (or maybe crickets) then you might be a bonafide Floridian. Sleepless Florida NightsStevebrooks

Just another day at the beach

The beach is not a fancy vacation when you live in Florida, it's just another way to pass the time. Just another day at the beachCoastalliving

You've been to Grad Night in Disney World

It's lit. You've been to Grad Night in Disney WorldYouTube

What are seasons?

If you've ever visited another state during winter and fathomed at this thing called "seasons besides HOT," you might be a Floridian. Yes, snow is not a Hollywood myth. it's real! What are seasons?Theygetaround

The good spot.

You are willing to drive a ridiculous amount of time through a parking lot looking for the one spot with shade to open up. The good spot.Giphy

Disney World Monorail Safety Message

It has mesmerized you at least once in English AND Spanish. Disney World Monorail Safety MessageWordPress

Weird Florida News Story?

The rest of the world may stand with jaws dropped but you don't even flinch. It's... just another day in Florida. Weird Florida News Story?Mashable

You never learned how to parallel park.

Few places can also boast the same but congrats Florida, this is a thing you're good at not doing. You never learned how to parallel park.Yahoo

Every summer?

At least 75% of your body is covered in mosquito bites. It's a ritual way to end the season. Every summer?Viralportal

Your real mini vacation is:

Sitting inside for at least 20 minutes just to enjoy the air conditioner every day during the summer. Your real mini vacation is:Gawker

This steering wheel is HOT.

You've worried that you acquired third degree burns simply touching your steering wheel. This steering wheel is HOT.Buzzfeed

Anything below 70F is freezing

That's the weather you bust out sweaters and hot coco for. Anything below 70F is freezingAmy Brown Zemser

The Florida struggle:

You have seen an alligator in your backyard or pool. The Florida struggle:Activerain

Love Bugs

Basically at some point your car may as well be a giant love bug. That's just the love bug struggle. Thanks Florida! Love BugsThehulltruth

Free Publix Cookies

These baked treats consumed at least half of your entire childhood. Free Publix CookiesJaxmomsblog

Publix

Their subs are literally their own food group in your home. They can be breakfast, lunch dinner, your source of veggies, whatever. They are the essence of life. PublixPinterest

Hurricane Woes

You've lived through AT LEAST 3 hurricanes. But let's be realistic, that number is probably astronomically higher. Hurricane WoesWoods Hole Oceanographic Institution

The Mud Walk

In 5th grade you found yourself waste deep and walking through mud. The Mud WalkYouTube

You've been to Gatorland.

You're either a really bored tourist or you grew up in Florida. You've been to Gatorland.FloridaLeisure.com

A special part of childhood.

You were literally taught how to run away from an alligator by the time you were in kindergarten. A special part of childhood.idrivesafely.com

3 hours? Time to kill.

You know you're from Florida when you've gone to a theme park after 4pm and just hung out for a few hours simply because you can. 3 hours? Time to kill.BlogSpot

You've ever worked at a theme park.

Most commonly Disney World, but that's not the only one in Florida. And it's practically a right of passage to work at a theme park at some point when you live there. You've ever worked at a theme park.Disney

Disney Princess Work Experience

Either you or someone you know close to you has or currently works as a Disney Princess at Disney World. Disney Princess Work ExperienceInsidethemagic

You own at least four different pairs of flip flops.

Key words here: at least. You probably own one for every color but if you own at least four, there's a good chance you live in Florida. You own at least four different pairs of flip flops.WordPress
Elana