Woman Has To Choose Between Family Gathering And Her Own Milestone Birthday

"Celebrating my own birthday was not sufficient reason to miss *her* birthday party. "

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• February 4, 2024

Birthdays, especially milestone ones like the 40th, are often seen as a personal New Year's Eve: a time for celebration, reflection, and being surrounded by loved ones. However, when family situations and overlapping events come into play, what should be a simple celebration can quickly become a complex problem.

OP's 40th birthday is coming up next week. She traditionally celebrates with a family dinner every year, but this time, she planned to hold it the weekend before her birthday due to her in-laws' prior commitments on the weekend following her birthday, which she's obliged to attend.

However, a new complication arose when they received an invitation to her niece's birthday party on the Saturday just before her birthday. This left only the Sunday before her birthday available for her family dinner.

Then, a week ago, she received a text invitation to a joint birthday party for her sister-in-law (SIL) and mother-in-law (MIL) on that very Sunday. OP decided to decline the invitation for two specific reasons: firstly, she wanted to celebrate her 40th birthday with her own family, and secondly, she felt disheartened that no one had considered including her birthday in the joint celebration.

Her husband conveyed her regrets to her MIL, but this decision angered her MIL, who didn't consider celebrating OP's birthday as a valid excuse to miss her own party. Subsequently, her husband expressed his disappointment that her birthday wasn't taken into account during the planning.

Sadly, it seems that OP's feelings were dismissed, and she feels like she's been treated unfairly. Now, she's contemplating not attending any of the activities on either weekend due to these frustrations.

It's OP's 40th birthday, and she usually has a family dinner to celebrate, but this year, she'll be hosting it the weekend before because her in-laws have plans for the weekend after that.

OP was invited to a niece's birthday party on the Saturday before her birthday, so only free Sunday for dinner with her family.

OP declined in-law's invitation because she wanted to celebrate her 40th birthday with her family.

Now, her mother-in-law is upset, and OP is thinking about skipping all the weekend activities because it feels petty.

It's unusual that with multiple family members having birthdays around the same time, this hasn't been a problem before.

OP should disregard those who try to spoil her birthday.

They may have ulterior motives in choosing the date.

Their plans should be less significant compared to OP's 40th.

It they seem to be ignoring OP's event and not acknowledging its importance or including her.

OP's behavior isn't trivial.

OP should avoid them for now; they don't appreciate her.

OP shouldn't feel bad for excluding those who didn't include her.

OP's husband needs to communicate this to his mom and sister.

It's weird that there hasn't been an issue with family birthdays overlapping before. But now, it seems like some family members might have other reasons for picking this date.

OP's 40th birthday is a big deal, and her plans should come first. If they're ignoring her birthday and not including her, it's not okay. OP has every right to distance herself from those who don't appreciate her.

OP shouldn't feel guilty for not including people who didn't include her. Her husband needs to talk to his mom and sister about this and make it clear that OP's feelings and her 40th birthday should be respected and acknowledged.

Family should make each other feel special and loved during these important times.

Damjan