Woman Insists On Honouring MIL's Wish For An Orthodox Jewish Funeral, Despite Pressure From SIL To Tamper With The Burial Arrangements

"My SIL is insistent that funerals are for the living and that, as she's dead, she won't even know."

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• July 24, 2023

Funerals are a time-honored tradition that allows friends and family to pay their respects to a loved one who has passed away. It is a solemn occasion marked by a mixture of grief and remembrance.

As mortality looms over us, many individuals take it upon themselves to express their desires regarding their final resting place and funeral arrangements. These pre-emptive decisions aim to ease the burden on their loved ones and ensure their wishes are respected when the inevitable happens.

However, as noble as these desires may be, they can become a contentious issue among family members. The situation can become even more challenging when certain customs, ideologies, or religious beliefs are involved.

Our story today highlights one such instance where the wishes of a recently departed woman were threatening to tear the family apart.

OP (Original Poster) explained that her mother-in-law (MIL) was a devout Jewish woman who left clear instructions for an Orthodox Jewish burial. The time of her passing fell during the holiday season, making it difficult to organize the funeral immediately, as required by Jewish customs—in addition, the dead body is not to be altered or preserved in any way.

In a race against time, OP and her husband decided to set the burial date on a Tuesday. Unfortunately, this date didn't favor her sister-in-law (SIL), who argued that she couldn't find someone to cover her at work that day.

Since the burial announcement, OP and her husband have been under pressure to shift the date, but her husband is adamant that nothing will interfere with his mother's burial wishes.

Scroll down to find out how the story unfolds.

The story in detail

OP's MIL recently passed away and the date of the woman's burial has been set. However, OP's SIL wants the date moved

The deceased woman laid out some strict arrangements for her burial. Apparently OP's SIL's request would be a clog in that wheel

OP's husband is adamant that his mother's wish must be respected

Here's what the Reddit community had to say about this story:

"NAH - you both have good reasons for what you're asking"

"Step down from planning the funeral. It’s not your place to tell your SIL when the funeral is"

"NTA...The Lord understands if someone cannot attend a funeral"

"Her own daughter thinks it's ok to bury her separate from her husband?"

Curious question

It's sad that OP's SIL can't get time off for her mom's funeral

"NTA. Your MIL’s beliefs take priority over your SIL’s wants"

"NTA...You aren't making these decisions, you are carrying out the wishes of your MIL"

"If the sister truly wants to be at her mothers funeral she will find a way."

Most commenters have applauded OP and her husband for sticking to the deceased woman's wishes. One Redditor was shocked that OP's SIL wasn't bothered about breaking their Jewish customs, which could prevent the woman from being buried next to her husband.

In addition, some commenters expressed their disappointment that OP is the one taking the heat rather than her husband, who is in charge of the burial arrangements.

We'd love to get your thoughts on this story; join the conversation in the comments below.

Jesse