Man Torn Between Family Christmas Card Tradition Of Featuring Only Married Couples And Fiancée Feeling Excluded

" I’ve tried to explain that this isn’t our card"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 12, 2024

Family traditions often bring comfort and a sense of belonging, but they can also create friction, especially when they clash with the evolving dynamics of expanding families. This is a story about one such tradition, a simple rule about family photos, and the unforeseen tensions it stirred up between a couple on the brink of marriage.

In a family cherished for its traditions, the annual Christmas card photo stands as a testament to togetherness. For OP, this tradition held a peculiar rule set by his mother: only married partners could grace the festive frame.

When he announced his engagement to his 31-year-old fiancée, joy abounded, but an undercurrent of exclusion soon surfaced. Last year, freshly engaged, his fiancée was left out of the family photo, sparking a string of snide remarks and a brewing storm of resentment.

This year, with their wedding on the horizon, she declined to join a family graduation, her hurt spilling over this seemingly small tradition. She felt sidelined, voicing her dismay that her soon-to-be husband hadn't stood up for her inclusion in what she saw as a symbol of family acceptance.

OP was torn. On one hand, he understood her feeling of exclusion; on the other, he felt bound by family tradition and respect for his mother's rules.

His fiancée's reaction wasn't just disappointment – it was a warning shot across the bow, hinting at potential retribution during their wedding festivities.

OP is engaged, and their family only includes their spouse in their annual Christmas card photos once they are married.

OP's fiancée has been upset about this and she refused to drive with OP to a family graduation.

She's expressed surprise that OP hasn't defended her to his mother.

She repeatedly mentioned that less time for photos at the wedding is a fair response to a certain policy.

Understandably the rule when it comes to dating, but it seems a bit strict when they are engaged.

OP's mom didn't create this rule specifically for his fiancée, so it's unclear why she would be so upset.

OP should reconsider his relationship if his partner displays an immature and entitled attitude.

It seems like OP is dealing with a situation where he feels uneasy around a woman who is causing issues in his family life.

Her behavior is unreasonable, as she's trying to exclude them from wedding photos in retaliation for a Christmas card issue.

OP should reconsider his future marriage.

OP should have a conversation with the bride about her motivations and the wedding photos.

OP can suggest taking photos with and without his fiancé for his parents' Christmas card.

OP's fiancee's plan for tit-for-tat with wedding photos could create problems and strain the relationship with the family.

OP should reconsider the relationship if his partner's behavior continues. Her plan to exclude family from wedding photos in retaliation doesn't make sense. OP should talk with his family and suggest taking photos with and without the fiancée for the Christmas card.

If the fiancée keeps causing problems, OP needs to think about the relationship. Communication is key to resolving this issue and keeping the peace.

Damjan