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Person Who Au-Pairs For A Family Was Told To Pick Up Dog Poop By The Child And Wants To Know If It's Wrong To Assume This Isn't Part Of Her Job

Mia
by Mia
22 Mar 2023

We're back today with another Reddit post that was submitted on the AITA thread, trying to get information on whether or not they are wrong in a situation. We like to cover these posts quite often, so if you've been here before then, you've probably seen them.

They get a lot of attention and ultimately are pretty entertaining to read for everyone, so we like to share them. We will go in-depth into the details of the full original post, and then we will take a look at some of the best comments that were submitted to the post as well.

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Today we are diving into a post that was submitted by someone who is au-pairing for a family and is being told to pick up dog poop, but she feels like it isn't part of her job description but is a little nervous to ask the parents if it is expected of her.

People in the comments had a few questions for OP, and there were a lot of comments telling her just to ask because it won't hurt anything. Let's just dive in and check out the full post and story, plus all of the best comments on it.

OP starts off by saying that she's just recently au-pairing for a while now and just started working for a new family.

OP starts off by saying that she's just recently au-pairing for a while now and just started working for a new family.
u/ZeeziltheSloth
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She says that the daughter came up to her and told her that they both had to clean up dog poop. but OP thinks that's not part of her job description.

She says that the daughter came up to her and told her that they both had to clean up dog poop. but OP thinks that's not part of her job description.
u/ZeeziltheSloth

She said that it happened multiple times and that she has to pick it up even though the son doesn't have to.

She said that it happened multiple times and that she has to pick it up even though the son doesn't have to.
u/ZeeziltheSloth

Defining Job Roles and Responsibilities

According to Dr. Sarah Thompson, a labor psychologist, the ambiguity in job roles, especially in non-traditional settings like au-pairing, can lead to significant stress.

Her research indicates that when individuals are unclear about their responsibilities, it often results in anxiety and conflict.

In this case, the request to pick up dog poop may feel outside the expected job scope, leading to feelings of frustration and confusion.

Role Clarity and Boundaries in Au-Pairing

The role of an au-pair typically involves childcare and light household duties, but expectations can quickly become muddled. This ambiguity can lead to significant stress and moral dilemmas, particularly when tasks fall outside the agreed-upon job description. Research from the American Psychological Association highlights how unclear boundaries can lead to role confusion and job dissatisfaction.

When au-pairs find themselves in situations where they're expected to perform tasks they did not agree to, it can lead to feelings of exploitation and burnout. Understanding the importance of clearly defined roles can help alleviate these pressures and promote healthier working relationships.

She wants to bring it up to the mom but doesn't know if that is rude or not in case it is part of her job and she comes off bad.

She wants to bring it up to the mom but doesn't know if that is rude or not in case it is part of her job and she comes off bad.
u/ZeeziltheSloth
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Comments were saying that the kid is probably playing her and that something similar happened with her so she should ask the parents.

Comments were saying that the kid is probably playing her and that something similar happened with her so she should ask the parents.
pudge-thefish

Picking up dog poop while you're on a walk is known, but cleaning the whole yard most definitely isn't her job.

Picking up dog poop while you're on a walk is known, but cleaning the whole yard most definitely isn't her job.
daisygirl0913

From a developmental psychology perspective, understanding job expectations is crucial for mental well-being.

Studies show that clear communication about job roles can enhance job satisfaction and reduce turnover rates.

A common theme in the literature is that when employees feel their roles are defined and respected, they are more likely to engage positively with their responsibilities.

A developmental psychologist notes that the transition into roles like that of an au-pair can be challenging. Many young adults may feel pressured to conform to family expectations, even if those expectations exceed their job description. This pressure can lead to a sense of loss of agency, which can negatively impact mental well-being.

Research shows that individuals who assert their boundaries and communicate their needs effectively are more likely to experience job satisfaction and emotional well-being. Encouraging au-pairs to articulate their comfort levels can empower them and enhance their overall experience.

This is a good point because we are sure that the parents would ask her to pick it up and not tell the kid to tell her.

This is a good point because we are sure that the parents would ask her to pick it up and not tell the kid to tell her.
SmutDad
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This is a good comment we wanted to include that helps to explain a bit more about the job requirements when it was discussed with the parents.

This is a good comment we wanted to include that helps to explain a bit more about the job requirements when it was discussed with the parents.
Reddit

This is another good comment that has a little more information on the situation and what she was talking about in her post.

This is another good comment that has a little more information on the situation and what she was talking about in her post.
WantonChrysanthemum

Navigating Personal Boundaries

Setting personal boundaries is essential for any caregiver or employee. Experts suggest that individuals should feel empowered to discuss their job scope with their employers.

Research in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology highlights that employees who assert their boundaries report lower levels of stress and burnout.

By communicating openly about what is and isn’t acceptable within their roles, individuals can foster healthier work environments.

The Importance of Communication

Effective communication is crucial in any employment situation, especially in roles that involve personal care and family dynamics. A recent study published in the Psychological Science journal emphasizes that clear communication reduces misunderstandings and builds trust between parties. For an au-pair, articulating what tasks they are comfortable taking on can help set clear expectations.

When both the au-pair and the family engage in open dialogue about job responsibilities, it can lead to a more harmonious living and working environment. This proactive approach not only benefits the au-pair but also fosters a sense of collaboration and respect within the household.

We really feel like we have to agree with everyone that OP is NTA and that she should just ask the parents and let them know what their child has been doing. If it's been discussed what the requirements were in terms of the dog, then there shouldn't be an argument of what is expected.

What do you think about this whole situation and what people commented?

To address the challenges of unclear expectations, it's beneficial for au-pairs to engage in regular check-ins with the families they work with. Incorporating structured discussions about duties and boundaries can help clarify roles and prevent misunderstandings. Studies in workplace psychology suggest that setting aside time for feedback and reflection can enhance job satisfaction and reduce stress.

Furthermore, it’s essential for au-pairs to feel empowered to say no to tasks that fall outside the scope of their responsibilities. This empowerment not only protects their well-being but also reinforces the professional boundaries necessary for a healthy working relationship.

Expert Opinion

This situation reflects a common challenge in household dynamics where roles and responsibilities can become blurred. It's not unusual for individuals in caregiving roles to be asked to perform tasks outside their agreed-upon duties, leading to feelings of confusion and resentment. Clear communication between the au-pair and the family is essential to ensure that expectations are aligned and manageable for both parties.

Expert
Dr Anvi Patel
Psychologist

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, navigating the complexities of au-pair responsibilities requires clear communication and defined boundaries. Research suggests that these elements are critical in fostering positive relationships and reducing stress. By establishing a mutual understanding, both the au-pair and the family can thrive in their respective roles.

Moreover, it’s important for au pairs to feel supported and valued in their roles.

Studies show that appreciation from employers can lead to increased job commitment and satisfaction.

Taking the time to acknowledge the contributions of caregivers, whether through verbal praise or tangible rewards, can significantly improve their morale and performance.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, defining job roles and setting boundaries are vital for sustaining healthy work relationships.

As noted by occupational health experts, clear communication and respect for personal limits can prevent misunderstandings and foster a more positive environment for everyone involved.

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