Divorced Spouses Fight Over Their Child's Affections During Her Formative Years, Manage To Make College Graduation All About Them

Mom walked away without explanation after finding out her ex-husband was already there

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• August 26, 2023

In movies, divorced couples set aside their differences for the sake of their offspring. But life isn't like the movies — certainly not for a college senior who invited their divorced parents to their graduation.

OP has no recollection of their parents' marriage. They have been divorced for as long as OP can remember.

They co-parented well when OP was young. However, when OP was old enough to choose which parent they wanted to spend time with, their parents' civility went out the window.

No matter who OP chose, the other parent's feelings were hurt. If OP chose neither and spent time with their friends, both parents gave them lectures about their choices.

OP got a temporary break from their parents' bickering when they went off to college. Their mom reminded them which parent generously paid for their studies.

OP's mom paid for their schooling while their dad handled the occasional extracurricular expenses. The resentment built up over the years finally got to OP's mom.

Her former motto of the importance of having a father figure was forgotten. OP was reminded how their father never fulfilled his responsibilities as an active parent.

The ultimate battle for OP's affections happened during their graduation ceremony. OP invited both of their parents and their parents' new spouses.

OP thought it would be a great opportunity to take photos with both sets of parents they grew up with while proudly wearing the cap and gown they worked hard for

OP's dad and stepmom arrived first and they all took photos together

Then their mom showed up, set her coat down, and asked OP if their father was there

OP confirmed that he was, then their mom excused herself to the bathroom

She didn't come back and it affected OP's mood. OP just wanted a drama-free 48 hours with both parents.

OP's mom later texted her to go with their friends when she didn't show up to the dinner she and OP planned. OP knows their mom is upset, but is it OP's fault?

It wasn't like OP was forcing their parents to interact. They just had to be there for OP and they couldn't even manage that.

OP's mom could have sat as icily as she wanted and waited for OP's turn to get their diploma, politely clap, and attend the congratulatory dinner

She may have felt that she earned the right to be there since she paid for OP's education while her ex-husband didn't. That day wasn't about them.

They have been unfairly making OP choose which one is their favorite parent

OP has been stuck in the middle of their parents' relationship for as long as they can remember

They scolded OP when she chose to spend time with one parent over the other, as if that was proof which parent OP loved more

OP's mom could have waited for OP to get their diploma and told OP she wanted to leave right away. At least give OP an explanation.

She managed to make OP's milestone all about her

OP will remember her graduation as the day their mom walked away without explanation instead of the culmination of their hard work.

I wonder how OP's dad reacted when he realized what happened. OP was voted not the a**hole by Redditors.

They haven't posted any update about either parent since. Do you think OP realized they aren't responsible for their parents' emotions?

Chelsi