Redditor Faces Wife's Anger For Preventing Her From Disciplining His Kids, Yet Permitting His Ex-Wife To Maintain Authority In Their Home

"My wife accused me of diminishing her authority by not letting her play a more important role in my kids lives"

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• July 20, 2023

Raising kids is not just financially draining, it’s emotionally draining too. This is because parents are saddled with the responsibility of teaching their children socially acceptable norms and providing them with basic needs. 

While this responsibility is often split between two people, this number can change at different points for many people. For some people, this number can even increase due to a divorce or death.

While having more than two parental figures can be a good thing, it can also be challenging to navigate. 

We found one story on the AITA subreddit that paints a similar picture.

OP shared that he had a good co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife, and they had both remarried.

Since OP had three kids with his ex-wife, OP’s wife had tried to take on a parental role by disciplining the kids, but he had explained to her that that role was reserved for him and his ex only. After this, she’d stopped trying to discipline them.

One day, when OP’s ex-wife was dropping off their kids at his home, she let him know that their sixteen-year-old son was grounded and, as such, couldn’t have his phone. Their son responded that the punishment didn’t apply since he wasn’t at his mother’s house, and OP countered him by telling him his mother’s words were as valid as those in his house.

OP’s response upset his wife, who accused him of humiliating her and encouraging his ex-wife to act more important than her.  Although everyone around OP agrees with his wife, OP doesn’t.

This led him to ask the AITA community for a verdict. Check out what they thought below!

Let's dig into the details

A little background

OP's wife accused him of diminishing her authority, while making his ex-wife a more important figure in their home

Here's what the Reddit community had to say about this story:

"Kudos to you and your ex wife, and good job setting parenting boundaries with your new wife"

"NTA. Your ex is 'more important'. Those are her kids."

"A step parent disciplining a kid rarely goes well."

"NTA, but I think you really need to sit down with your wife and hash out exactly what her role is"

"YTA for telling your wife, she has zero ability to discipline the kids"

"I would find it very difficult to live with a family without any voice."

"Your wife is acting insecure and immature about what happened"

"Those are her step kids, they live in HER house, she should be allowed to punish them"

The commenters believe OP is NTA. Many even praised him for having a healthy co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife.

However, they advised OP to talk to his wife about her role in his children’s lives and consider her feelings.

Do you agree with the commenters? Let us know in the comments below!

Jesse