Twitter User Explains That Peeing And Pooping In Space Is Actually Quite Complicated

Well, this is just fascinating.

Elana

• Published in Funny
• July 26, 2019

At this point in history, most of us haven't been thinking an awful ton about the mechanisms and intricate details of travelling to outer space, other than maybe those folks who are really obsessed with storming area 51 to take home an alien. If you've ever wondered what it's like to do basic, every day things in outer space, like evacuating your bladder and bowels for example, well urine for a treat, because award winning author and puppeteer (yes, you read that correctly,) Mary Robinette Kowal recently addressed the mystery on Twitter.

Mary published an essay by the name of “To Make It to the Moon, Women Have to Escape Earth’s Gender Bias,” and as anything that discusses gender bias, people had opinions. Obnoxious opinions, naturally, about women not being able to go to the moon because of "bodily functions." Well, thank goodness for Mary because she came in and blew our minds with a plethora of bodily function outer space knowledge and we're stoked to share it with you!

Vroom-Vroom to the moon?

Peeing in space? Let's talk about it.

That first theory almost sounded plausible, didn't it? Alas, it was incorrect.

Alan Shepherd

15 minutes man.

Hey, who hasn't wet themselves before going into space?

Don't knock it til you try it.

They tried.

And like all early attempts at problem solving: they failed.

...I'm not even surprised.

*Laughs in disappointment*

Serves 'em right.

Who knew it could stink this bad!

Infamous.

Progress!

Requires phenomenal timing skills.

Majestic.

It sounds delightful, no matter the outcome.

Congrats to Buzz Aldrin.

I mean, the real hero of the moon, basically.

Oh.

Whoops.

Miscommunication with borderline hilarious results, basically.

Mission Control, let's talk about pee.

Damn.

Basically, bathing in pee. I'm not here to kink shame.

Revolutionary: THE DIAPER

Absolutely amazing.

Modern problems, like pooping in space, required modern solutions.

And it's not modern to tape a bag to your butt.

Here's a nice vision for your brain.

What can I say, except, "you're welcome?"

And you thought malfunctioning toilets on earth were a burden.

"Is this chocolate or poop?"

All of this to say:

It was never about bodily functions.

"Astronauts have tried."

I'd be disappointed if they hadn't.

Fun Fact:

Tampons exist.

AHAHAHA

*Laughs in uterus*

Well, that is fascinating.

I wouldn't mind if this was the gravity reality, honestly.

A beautiful tradition?

You could say it's a golden opportunity.

...Oh.

I guess these are the things people want to know.

Asking the important questions!

Oh, gross.

The Garn Scale

What a legacy!

Poory Guy

You know you wanted to see this.

Holy Moly

That hurts to read.

All of us felt this.

I refuse to imagine this.

Sweet time.

Thank you Mary, for your educational Twitter thread all about bodily functions in space. You can follow Mary on her Twitter and check out her website!

Elana