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Redditor Decides To Stop Spending Christmas With The In-Laws After Her Dog Bit Her MIL And They Didn't Want It Around

Mia
by Mia
31 Jan 2023

"Let sleeping dogs lie" is more than just one of those idioms that have been so thoroughly misinterpreted that its true meaning has been lost. Actually, it's a literal caution.

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It's most likely true that a dog will exhibit aggressive behavior when startled while sleeping. This response, known as the "sleep-startle reflex" in dogs, can be rather frightful, especially if there are young children, senior citizens, or those with disabilities present.

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Many dogs will quickly get back to sleep when abruptly awakened. But when startled awake unexpectedly, some dogs may growl, snap, lunge, and bite.

In today's story, we see a Redditor and her partner, who has an Australian Shepherd. They take this dog along to see both their parents during the summer.

The last night they were at her in-laws, their dog bit her MIL when she startled him while he was sleeping. The OP thinks that a lot of factors could have contributed to the dog's reaction, and she did list them.

From the OP's perspective, it is completely understandable that the dog bit her, but her in-laws think he’s aggressive and don’t want to see him. The OP disagrees that he’s aggressive, but she absolutely respects and understands her MIL being nervous around him.

She doesn't want to push the matter, but she definitely doesn't want to spend Christmas without her dog too. Read the full story as you keep scrolling down. 

The OP Writes...

The OP Writes...
u/thenumbers15
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The OP convinced her to go to the hospital just to be safe

The OP convinced her to go to the hospital just to be safe
u/thenumbers15

The only option that would allow us to stay overnight at my in-laws

The only option that would allow us to stay overnight at my in-laws
u/thenumbers15

Navigating Family Dynamics and Pet Behavior

The decision to stop spending Christmas with in-laws due to a pet incident reveals the complexities of family dynamics. Research in family psychology highlights that pets often serve as emotional barometers for family relationships. When a pet displays aggressive behavior, such as biting, it can exacerbate existing tensions and lead to conflict within families, especially during significant gatherings.

Here are what the other Redditors thought about this story

Here are what the other Redditors thought about this story
Reddit
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Your dog is a family member

Your dog is a family member
Reddit

Even the nicest dog could bite you

Even the nicest dog could bite you
Reddit

From a psychological perspective, it's essential to understand the role of attachment styles in family interactions. Attachments formed during childhood influence how we respond to stressors in adult relationships. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology indicates that individuals with anxious attachment styles may react more strongly to perceived threats to their loved ones, leading to heightened emotional responses in situations involving pets.

There always a chance a dog would bite if it's startled

There always a chance a dog would bite if it's startled
Reddit
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Your parents could take the dog for a few days

Your parents could take the dog for a few days
Reddit

It doesn't fully sit right to minimize the human relationship

It doesn't fully sit right to minimize the human relationship
Reddit

Understanding Aggressive Behavior in Pets

Pet aggression can be influenced by various factors, including fear, territoriality, and lack of socialization. Behavioral research shows that animals often act out in response to perceived threats, which can reflect the owner's emotional state. Understanding these triggers is crucial in preventing future incidents and creating a safe environment for both pets and family members.

They have to understand that different plans will be made

They have to understand that different plans will be made
Reddit
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You're still going to visit both sets of parents

You're still going to visit both sets of parents
Reddit

You and your partner are on the same page

You and your partner are on the same page
Reddit

Effective communication within families is vital, especially when dealing with sensitive topics like pet behavior. Research from the American Psychological Association emphasizes that open dialogue can help address underlying issues and prevent misunderstandings. Families should engage in discussions that focus on the pet's behavior while also considering the feelings of all members involved.

You're not taking responsibility for your dog

You're not taking responsibility for your dog
Reddit

This situation is entirely of your own making

This situation is entirely of your own making
Reddit

Your response is a string of weak excuses

Your response is a string of weak excuses
Reddit

Practical Steps for Family Harmony

To maintain family harmony, it's essential to establish clear boundaries and guidelines regarding pet behavior. This may include training and socialization efforts tailored to the pet's needs. Additionally, family members should discuss their feelings about the pet's behavior and develop a united approach to managing any incidents. Seeking professional help, such as a pet behaviorist, can also provide valuable insights and strategies for addressing aggressive behaviors.

The fact that he growls and snaps is also telling

The fact that he growls and snaps is also telling
Reddit

You're going to ignore her because of this

You're going to ignore her because of this
Reddit

A scared dog can be as dangerous as an aggressive dog

A scared dog can be as dangerous as an aggressive dog
Reddit

Be straight forward with no manipulations

Be straight forward with no manipulations
Reddit

Your wife could visit them for a day or two

Your wife could visit them for a day or two
Reddit

That would be the middle ground

That would be the middle ground
Reddit

Are you really prepared to tell them this?

Are you really prepared to tell them this?
Reddit

This Redditor is one of of those who loves dogs

This Redditor is one of of those who loves dogs
Reddit

Here's the edit the OP added later on

Here's the edit the OP added later on
u/thenumbers15

Anyone who owns a dog with a sleep-startle reflex must first come to terms with the fact that this is how their dog is. It cannot be corrected through the punishment of any kind, nor can it be corrected through training. 

Redditors dissected the matter and gave the verdict of "No AHs Here." Drop your own opinions below and share this post as well.

Expert Opinion

This situation demonstrates how pet behavior can significantly influence family dynamics. The emotional responses triggered by a pet's actions often reflect deeper relational tensions. Open, empathetic communication is essential in resolving these conflicts and maintaining healthy family relationships.

Expert
Dr Anvi Patel
Psychologist

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating family dynamics in the presence of a pet can be challenging, particularly when aggression is involved. Understanding the psychological factors that influence these interactions can foster empathy and improve communication among family members. By addressing underlying issues and implementing practical strategies, families can create a more harmonious environment for both themselves and their pets.

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