30 Funny Stories Of Cats Who Are Complete Criminals And Enjoy Causing Chaos In Their Loving Homes
Life before this was peaceful, like, “why would anyone ever trust a cat with anything” peaceful. Then you scroll past “The Local Small Bastard Man” and it’s just non-stop evidence that your sweet little furball is running a full-on crime syndicate in your living room.
It starts with tiny, innocent chaos, like the toilet paper drama, the laundry list of garden-variety crimes, and that classic moment when someone swears, “This person never hears the cat do it,” even though the damage says otherwise. And somehow it escalates, from knocking over every trash can to houseplants and balls of yarn being in trouble, all while the culprit walks away unscathed or blames “clearly my sister.”
Oh no, Murphy, because once you see the daily routine, you’re gonna start side-eyeing every sound your cat makes.
How did I live life before this?
The Local Small Bastard Man
And the comments roll in...
1. My cat's wiki
2. A huge sucky baby that loves mama
3. This person never hears the cat do it
4. Such a naughty cat
5. The toilet paper drama
6. He bites, he shreds, and he destroys
7. Just decide for yourself
8. A laundry list of garden-variety crimes
9. The mission is to catch her on time
10. How this cat got her revenge
11. The culprit walked away unscathed
12. Such a cute criminal
This is giving “woman gets back at her cheating ex,” claiming a stray cat did the mess, but Reddit users aren’t buying it.
13. It was clearly my sister
14. Look at this guy's daily routine
Oh no, Murphy
16. Houseplants and balls of yarn are in trouble
17. This cat has a ton of crimes
18. You just have to wake up
19. It's about knocking over every trash can
20. Oh my goodness
21. The cat is playing with a little piece of bread
22. Locking the cat away so he doesn't hurt himself
23. Such a terrible time to commit a crime
24. No sleep for you, hooman
25. You just have to reconsider
26. The drug house
27. He jumped out of the balcony on the 5th floor
28. The sink and the bath are the cat's favorite places
29. Sorry, my bad
30. Scream for attention
Right when “The Local Small Bastard Man” gets introduced, you can already tell this is the kind of cat who commits crimes with a straight face.
Then the comments kick in, with people claiming their cat’s a “huge sucky baby” while simultaneously listing bites, shredding, and total destruction.
That’s when the chaos gets personal, like the mission is to catch her on time, before she’s already dragged bread into a full scene.
And just as you think you’ve seen it all, “Oh no, Murphy” shows up with the kind of disaster that keeps you up, no sleep for you, hooman.
After learning about the damage your feline companions are capable of, do you feel a little afraid of them? Before adopting a cat, it's important to understand what you're getting into.
However, as any cat owner will attest, it's totally worth the mayhem to share your life with a mischievous little furball. Leave a comment on the post you found the funniest or most relevant.
Nobody wants to come home to a cat that’s already finished the heist and is now demanding attention.
Want more chaos than “the mission is to catch her on time”? Dive into forty laughably relatable stories of cats being destructive.
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