Online Users Share 40+ Rules Their Cats Have Established At Home

Yes, cats make the rules

Damjan

• Published in Funny
• August 16, 2023

For those unfamiliar with the experience of owning a cat, the misconception might arise that having a cat is simply about cohabitating with another creature under the same roof. This misunderstanding can extend to dogs as well, with the assumption that you, as the owner, establish the rules for your furry companion.

However, the truth is quite the opposite. When it comes to cats, it is they who dictate the rules of the household, not you.

It's a matter of cat-centric regulations, not your directives. And if you're skeptical about this, just delve into the anecdotes of Reddit users whose pet cats have established dominion over their homes.

These tales from the AskReddit thread not only provide abundant hilarity but also convey undeniable authenticity. Should any doubts persist about the feline's authority in a household, consider a couple of real-life instances.

Imagine you have a habit of draping your clothes over a certain chair, the one designated for items that might be used again. Simultaneously, your cat has also claimed this chair as their preferred lounging spot.

A contest for occupancy might ensue - you might even offer an alternative, perfectly suitable chair - yet an epiphany eventually dawns. It's not you who sets the regulations governing the feline realm within your abode; rather, it's the cat that prescribes the rules you abide by. Surrender becomes the sole option.

And this example merely scratches the surface. Cats possess intricate strategies to establish their reign over your domicile, and they consistently emerge triumphant, these pint-sized autocrats.

Now, are you prepared for a riveting escapade through individuals' admissions of feline overlords? Once you peruse these accounts, your comprehension of the adage "my house, my cat, my rules" will undoubtedly deepen.

And if these engaging albeit mildly ominous tales from the Reddit discussion fail to diminish your enthusiasm for feline companionship, you are undoubtedly well-suited for embracing the idea of adopting a cat!

1. "By 10 pm, I'm usually in bed with TV and my cat. If not, my old tom cat gets upset. He's deeply bonded to me, possibly due to past trauma, and demands affection."

2. "They must sit as close to my face as possible, preferably on my face. My inability to breathe is my problem."

3. "Leave the door open, you don't need privacy in the toilet."

BloodAngel85 replied:

"I have 3 cats and a dog, I don't even bother closing the door anymore."

4. "Bed making will always include at least one cat jumping on the bed to 'help'.

5. "If there is a face-sized hole in the center of the food bowl, the bowl is effectively empty."

6. "If you do anything to my poop box, I must immediately rechristen it."

7. "After sleeping, changing the sleep position will not be tolerated."

meech7607 replied:

"My cat used to sleep in the valley that's made by the blanket between your legs. One night I was in that twilight almost asleep phase and he was sleeping down there, and I didn't realize it. I rolled over and catapulted him off of the bed."

8. "You can touch but don't touch."

9. "I must be in every room you are. I will claw at the door and carpet if I am not allowed in. Do not follow me around. I want my space."

DOTHETHING_ replied:

"Cat must have the option of being in any room you are in. Will check stuff out then leave immediately. If you close the door then the cycle repeats."

10. "Clean laundry will be considered as a bed."

11. "Let her in. Let her out. Let her in. Let her out.

BillohRly asked:

"Have you tried letting her out? And then let her in? And then letting her out and then letting her..."

12. "Are you beginning to fall asleep? Then I must run wide open from one end of the house to the other at least four times. The galloping sound will help you sleep."

13. "Going to the bathroom? Need to drink from the faucet. Walk past the bathroom? Need faucet water. Make eye contact? Need faucet water."

14. "No placing of hands or feet outside of blankets."

soitsmydayoff replied:

"To add onto this, no sudden movements underneath the blanket, or else it's fair game."

15. "Cats get the spot on the bed that they want, dogs may have the leftovers."

16. "You may attempt to knit/sew, but I will be attacking the wool every five seconds. Extreme knitting."

17. "Any uncovered food will be licked."

18. "I am more important than Game of Thrones. To illustrate this point, I will frequently stand on the coffee table, directly in your line of sight to the television."

19. "The 40kg dog must at all times display submissive behavior towards the cat unless he wishes nails in her b*tt."

20. "I want food right now but I will eat later."

BloodAngel85 replied:

"For my male cat, it's 'I want food now, but I'll only eat a small amount and come back expecting to be there 5 minutes later.' Unfortunately, his 2 sisters are pigs when it comes to food, so he just meows at me for more."

21. "Christmas is for us. Christmas trees are exclusively for us."

22. "If you do not maintain visual contact with cheese products at all times you agree to forfeit your right to finish eating said cheese products."

23. "Once your alarm goes off, it's cuddle time. Oh, you want to go back to sleep? Then you'll have to do so with 11 lbs of Bogart on your chest."

24. "If your lap is empty, it is fair game."

25. Please...

26. "The fridge is a paradise. Don't quite know why they like it in there either."

27. "All showers must be supervised from in between the shower curtains. No exceptions. Sometimes even on top."

28. "If they meow in the middle of the night, I must respond immediately (or else be hit in the face with their sharp claws)."

29. " All rugs are mine."

30. Water must be consistently clean and full.

31. Awake? Feed me, regardless of time.

32. "All food is subject to taste testing."

33. Turning off lights = cat's signal for play/war; expect leg attacks.

34. "The toys I played with yesterday must be replaced with brand new, different toys today."

35. "Glass items go on the floor."

36. Dogs avoid cat toys; cats use both.

37. "Cat goes to the left of the laptop, blocking the vent."

38. Door spring serves as an alarm.

39. "We will climb up your curtains and ruin them."

40. "Any accessible bread products will be destroyed (not eaten, just shredded)."

BrutalHonestyBuffalo replied:

"My cats don't destroy bread - but for whatever reason, if we leave a bread product unattended - you can be sure there will be one giant bite taken out of it. Plastic/paper and all."

41. "Cats eat before dogs."

42. "The picnic bench in the garden is my territory. If you are eating lunch out there, you must first appease me with tidbits."

43. "Your food is mine to judge, but I'll likely reject it."

44. "I will stay off the left side of the counter as long as you let me sit next to the microwave and stare at the food."

45. "Give me the last piece of your vegemite toast."

46. "Hide behind desk."

The illusion that we control the rules in a household shared with a cat is shattered by the reality of feline dominance, as evident in the shared Reddit stories. These anecdotes humorously emphasize that it's the cats who dictate the terms.

Exploring these narratives enriches the understanding of "my house, my cat, my rules." If these tales don't dampen your enthusiasm for cats, you're ready to wholeheartedly embrace feline companionship.

Damjan