Tensions Rise When American Bride Discovers Sister-In-Law's Wedding Gowns Cost More Than Her Whole Wedding
"Comparison is the thief of joy," echoed in my head as I read a Reddit post about these two brides. The OP is Indian-American, while her sister-in-law is Caucasian.
Their weddings are within a few weeks of each other. OP's parents and in-laws are paying the expenses for her wedding.
Her sister-in-law and brother chose to shoulder the cost for most of their wedding except the reception, which OP's parents are paying for as well. Part of her SIL's last-minute wedding preparation is buying lehengas (Indian dresses).
She asked OP to accompany her. She bought one for the pre-wedding event and one for the reception.
After shopping, SIL asked to see OP's wedding dresses. OP bought her four lehengas and pieces of jewelry in India.
They were specially made for her by a famous Indian bridal designer. The one OP will wear to her wedding costs $10k.
Altogether, her dresses and pieces of jewelry cost $50k. OP only mentioned the total amount after her SIL asked.
Needless to say, OP's SIL was shocked by the number. She asked if OP was making her parents pay for everything.
OP replied that they paid for two of the dresses and pieces of jewelry. Her in-laws paid for her reception dress which they will be hosting.
Her $10k bridal lehenga was paid for by her maternal uncle in accordance with tradition. Her SIL still couldn't fathom the amount of money OP spent on just her dresses.
She complained that OP's wedding will eclipse her own, especially with OP's wedding happening two weeks ahead of hers
RedditShe worried that their guests will compare her dresses to OP's more extravagant ones
RedditOP told her sister-in-law that she was acting stupid because people will not really remember what she wore to her wedding
RedditOP's SIL walked out upset. Her brother called her hours later and said OP should have lied or deflected. OP is worried that this can ruin her friendship with her SIL.
RedditWhy did they choose to pay for their wedding themselves, a curious Reddit user asked
capmanor1755SIL didn't want to expand her guest list and avoid outside pressure, said OP
Reddit
They are from different cultures, so accepting that much money from her future in-laws probably didn't sit right with OP's sister-in-law
anothertypicalcmmnt
Which isn't her fault really
Reddit
OP calling her stupid when she was anxious about her wedding wasn't the right call either
TimotheeChalamet
A commenter offered a different perspective which sort of explains the type of "insecurity" OP's SIL felt after seeing the dresses
toebeantuesday
Her frugality might be viewed as cheapness instead of a virtue
toebeantuesday
Maybe it's wise for OP to have a conversation with her SIL. Give her the space to air out her anxiety about the wedding. OP can step up and help alleviate those fears as an olive branch.
toebeantuesday
I agree. I think SIL was looking for reassurance that her wedding will be great as well. She and OP are friends after all.
prairiemountainzen
This is how I interpreted it as well but SIL could have taken it literally which hurts, obviously.
potionruse
Oh, so OP's parents are actually diverting her brother's money into funding his first home with his wife
Smart_Mortgage_8962,
This is one of the main takeaways of a lot of people who read OP's post
spicykorok
OP could have handled that situation better. It was clear that her sister-in-law was anxious about her wedding and OP saying that she was acting stupid cut deep.
OP still has an opportunity to repair her damaged friendship with her SIL if she approaches her with empathy and less use of the word stupid. Side note, OP shared how her dresses look and they are stunning!
