Boyfriend Asks If He's An A** For Telling His Girlfriend To Get A Job

Since the boyfriend makes quite good money, the deal was that he works and she stays at home and help with the chores

Liezel

• Published in Interesting
• November 4, 2022

Way back when, women were expected to stay at home, do the chores, take care of the children, and keep the home while the man worked. It's a whole lot different now.

In this time and age, more and more people are expecting equal responsibilities from their partners no matter whether they're men or women. This means that when people get into relationships, they expect a balance of responsibilities in maintaining their homes and lives.

This might come in the form of dividing the house chores equally or splitting finances equally. In other cases, this balance can come in the form of one person compensating for what the other can't do much of.

Sadly, for Redditor shelbym098705 and his girlfriend, that's just not the case. In the beginning, it might have been but not anymore.

According to OP, since his new job provides more than enough money for them both, he offered for his girlfriend to not work and simply stay at home. She took up the offer and since OP still helps out in the house, her only responsibility was to pick up on the other chores that he couldn't always do since he's not around most of the day.

Unfortunately, she's not keeping her end of the bargain. Here's the whole story.

OP asks:

OP received a better job offer and took it and his girlfriend resigned too

And since the pay is good enough, he offered for her to just stay at home

But she's not holding up her end of the bargain and has made up excuses for it

OP also clarified some things

OP clarifies that he feels like the AH for getting her upset even though his reasons are justified

With their arrangement, many people would say that OP's girlfriend is quite lucky, at least with what has been said about her situation in the post. A lot of people would jump at that kind of chance especially when all they have to do is help out with the house chores.

As it seems, OP is very generous as well with their deal. Unfortunately, his girlfriend doesn't seem to see that and is somewhat taking advantage of the situation.

Here are what the top comments on Reddit have to say.

1. Run and never look back

2. Some think she's just big trouble waiting to explode

3. She was offered a deal and not a free ride to a lazy life

4. Some people think she is straight taking advantage of him

5. If she legitimately loved him, she would be doing her end of the deal as a way of taking care of her partner

6. She might have just revealed her true self

7. Her getting upset at being asked to be a responsible human being is a big red flag

8. She's just taking advantage of his good graces

9. Nip it in the bud while there's still time

10. How about send her back to her moms to live for free

11. He might have unwittingly enabled her mindset

12. If this kind of arrangement continues for both of them, it might just end up with them resenting each other

13. She might have gotten to her routine now and would have a hard time going back to her old life

If she truly cares though, she'd be willing to make a compromise

14. She is a grown up first and foremost

15. OP's offer for her to stay at home might have been a little too premature

It seems odd that she's also at her mother's house almost every single day until late in the evening

If she refuses to step up, it might be time to reconsider the relationship

16. Your partner getting a better paying job isn't enough reason for you to quit your job

17. It might just be her finally showing her real self

18. Some people can work in this kind of set up but only if both ends hold up their end of the bargain

As it seems, OP may have offered their kind of arrangement a little too early in the relationship especially when neither of them might have shown all who they really were. Still, any responsible adult who truly cares for their partner would do what it takes to help take burdens off their partner and not become one.

Hopefully, OP's girlfriend realizes that she also has a responsibility and if not, maybe it's time they go separate ways.

Liezel