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Woman Takes Her Ex's Dog Because He Was a Bad Owner, Seeks Advice As He Wants to "Borrow" Dog for a Few Hours

Maryjane
by Maryjane
10 Feb 2024

If you own a dog, it's likely that your top priority is keeping your pet content and healthy. Nevertheless, there are more factors to consider when thinking about the welfare of your pet.

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One such factor is the consequences of not walking your dog and how it might affect their mental health. Some pet owners believe that if a dog has a yard, there's no need to walk it because it can run around in the fresh air and relieve itself whenever it pleases.

But it shouldn't be that way. Dogs must be taken on walks outside to make their markings, smell the marks of others, learn new things, explore new areas, and interact with other dogs. 

The OP's ex was a lazy person, and he never took his dog, Bruno, on walks. If he did, the OP guesses it would be twice a year. They had a yard, and he felt that was enough for the dog.

The OP worked a nice 8–4 job and lived five minutes from home, so Bruno got into a routine. When they broke up, the OP said it was in the best interest of the dog to stay with her.

She told him that he could come to see the dog whenever he wanted and take him over the weekend, but he never did. The OP is now engaged to someone, and Bruno loves the OP's fiancé more than he loves her.

He is just really good with dogs, is so attentive, and is simply amazing. The OP now wants her ex to have only supervised visits with the dog, but he's proving stubborn.

The headline

The headline
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The OP was never a dog owner

The OP was never a dog owner
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The dog honestly didn't care about him

The dog honestly didn't care about him
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The Ethics of Pet Ownership and Responsibility

Dr. Mark Jensen, an ethics professor at Stanford University, discusses the moral implications of pet ownership and the responsibilities it entails.

When a pet is neglected, feelings of guilt and responsibility can lead to complex emotional responses, especially in previous owners.

Research suggests that these feelings can be compounded by societal expectations around pet care and ownership.

They had a yard, and he felt that was enough for him

They had a yard, and he felt that was enough for him
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The OP is very afraid that he will do something

The OP is very afraid that he will do something
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Here's the story's summary

My ex works long hours and was a bad dog owner. When we were together, I primarily took care of the dog while he was working. When we broke up, I kept the dog, and he never visited. Now, four years later, he wants to take the dog this week to the dog park. I am honestly afraid that he won't bring him back.

And the comments roll in...

And the comments roll in...
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This situation also highlights the psychological concept of attachment theory, which posits that the bonds we form with pets can be as significant as those with other humans. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, "The emotional connections we have with our pets can mirror those we have with people, leading to profound feelings of loss or conflict when ownership changes." This sentiment is echoed by Dr. Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist, who states, "Pets often become integral parts of our lives, and their absence can trigger intense emotional responses." These attachments can lead to complex emotional conflicts when ownership transitions occur.

Bruno is not his dog

Bruno is not his dog
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This arrangement is wrong

This arrangement is wrong
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The OP is the owner now

The OP is the owner now
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Navigating Ownership Transitions in Pet Care

Experts recommend having open discussions about the future of pets when relationships change.

Creating a clear agreement about pet care responsibilities can alleviate tension and misunderstandings.

Involving a mediator or counselor may help facilitate these discussions, ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued.

The OP continued contacting him

The OP continued contacting him
Reddit/strosslynn

The OP should stop contacting him

The OP should stop contacting him
Reddit/strosslynn

The OP left this update later on

The OP left this update later on
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Moreover, it’s important to consider the pet’s well-being in these discussions, as their needs should be prioritized.

Establishing a visitation schedule or shared responsibilities can provide a sense of continuity for the pet while addressing the emotional needs of both parties.

Redditors told the OP to never allow her ex to take her dog somewhere by himself, as he doesn't even deserve to see Bruno because he has ignored the poor thing his entire life. It's also obvious that he doesn't even want to see him because he's never followed through on the visits.

When someone gets a pet only for show and doesn't commit to providing it with the necessary care, then they should forfeit it. As the OP has been its primary caregiver for such a long time, she now owns the dog.

Psychological Analysis

This situation underscores the emotional complexity of sharing a pet after a breakup. It's common for individuals to feel a strong sense of ownership and attachment, which can complicate negotiations about care and custody.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Understanding the ethical dimensions of pet ownership can enhance relationships during transitions.

According to current research, prioritizing open communication and the well-being of the pet can lead to healthier outcomes for everyone involved.

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