This Woman's Family Gets Mad Because She Celebrates Her Birthday On Her Nephew’s Death Anniversary

The one time grief and cake didn’t go well together.

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• September 20, 2022

Losing a child is one of the most painful things a parent may ever have to go through.

This pain may cause them to experience complicated emotions, ranging from sadness, despair, numbness, guilt, or regret.

Sometimes this pain goes from being mental even to affecting a person physically. Essentially, the day a parent loses a child is one of the worst days of their life.

Unfortunately, research shows that a person never gets over the loss of a loved one. Similarly, the day a person is born subsequently becomes the best day of that person and their parent's lives.

We found a story in the AITA subreddit that merges the two days in the most unlikely fashion.

A Redditor shared that her nephew died from cancer on her birthday, so the family was aggrieved and couldn't celebrate that year.

The following year, her birthday popped up again, which was also the one-year anniversary of her nephew's death. Instead of going big like her family used to during birthdays, OP chose to stay by her sister's side instead.

However, OP's girlfriend had other plans. When she returned home, she was welcomed with a candlelight dinner and a small cake. It was something intimate and a breath of fresh air on such a sad day.

Unfortunately, everything turned sour after OP's mom and sister saw the post on Instagram. Now her family thinks she's cold, heartless and insensitive.

Scroll down for the full story!

Let's dig into the details

OP explained that birthdays are a big deal in her family, but the passing of her nephew, right on her birthday, caused everyone to mourn instead. Well, one year has passed, and the death anniversary has come up on her birthday again

OP's sister, Denise, wasn't in the best mood, so she decided to spend time by her sister's side. Little did OP know that her girlfriend had had a surprise planned back home

Unfortunately, the surprise "celebration" didn't go down well with OP's mum and sister. They felt she was being inconsiderate, considering the family was still in a state of mourning

The post went viral, garnering 27.7k upvotes and 3k comments. Here's how the Reddit community responded:

"Does Denise expect you to NEVER celebrate your birthday again?"

"Honestly, i feel for Denise, I really, really do. But life goes on"

"Grief is terrible and complex and often doesn't make sense, but you don't get to force other people to grieve the way you do"

"NTA When I read the title I thought you had thrown a big, raucous birthday party. Nope. You had dinner with your girlfriend"

"NTA. Your sister has suffered what is surely the worst thing she will ever face in her entire life but that doesn't mean you are never allowed to be celebrated ever again"

"People grieve differently but that doesn’t mean aspects of life still shouldn’t be celebrated. You acted appropriately"

"Someone else’s death, while sad, doesn’t mean that you do not get to go on living and celebrating"

"You are allowed to be a little bummed, you are allowed to celebrate, and you are NTA"

"Your sister is dealing with the first anniversary of loosing her son and lashed out- it was definitely inappropriate, but I wont blame her this year. Anger is easier than grief"

"I’m sure her grief is overwhelming, but life does have to move on even through the grief"

There is no timeframe for grief, and different people handle grief in different ways. So this is a tough one.

However, most commenters believe that OP's family should not have gotten upset that she chose to celebrate—especially since it was a low-key event.

While OP offered reasons why she might have been the AH, the Reddit community encouraged her not to feel bad, as it wasn't her fault. They think it's unfair for her family to expect her never to celebrate a birthday again.

The commenters also stated that they would understand if OP's family chose not to celebrate, but she had the right to move on with life.

What's your take on this story? Do you think OP was wrong for celebrating? Let us know in the comments section below!

Jesse