Pregnant Mom Doesn't Want Her Disabled Autistic Friend Staying Over, Seeks Advice On Ways To Go About It

"I value her friendship but I don’t think it’s a good idea to visit"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• January 8, 2024

It's likely that you have watched a movie or TV show where an autistic person is portrayed as a recluse. Even if these portrayals in the media aren't always accurate, you may have encountered someone similar in real life.

This person could be a coworker who shuns social events at work, a student who frequently spends lunch in the library, or a friend who typically turns down party invitations. People who are not autistic frequently interpret this decision to withdraw from particular social settings as a sign of a lack of interest in interacting with others or even as a personal rejection.

This can limit your chances of connecting and forging a deep friendship by making it difficult to determine whether, when, or how to communicate with the person. Good friendships can grow between people with and without autism as long as there is enough comprehension and sincere acceptance of the unique ways that each person sees the world.

The OP has a friend who's not only autistic but has numerous disabilities and chronic pain. OP moved across the country to be with her now-fiancé, and she's currently pregnant with their second child, who is due very soon.

Her autistic friend wants to visit for three weeks, and her arrival would be around when the baby is born. Due to her autistic friend's disabilities, she can't do most things, so the OP doesn't want her around.

The issue now is that she doesn't know how to go about it because her friend doesn't grasp the point.

The OP kicks off her story

She is planning to arrive less than 2 weeks after the baby is born

The OP has had to be more blunt and sent her friend a long message

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the AH:

I think bluntly saying “please don’t come” is an AH move for a friend who wants to help.

We've gathered some of the most upvoted comments from other Redditors for you to read through below

It's about the OP and her baby

What it's like to care for two small children

Needing a big break to recover from a surgery

It's unfortunate that OP's friend couldn't pick up the hints

She won't be able to stay with the OP at all

The OP has to put her foot down and say it how it is

It's not how it works after a baby

According to this Redditor, there is no AH in the story

All things considered, making friends with someone who has autism is fundamentally the same as creating any other kind of healthy relationship. It is predicated on mutual understanding and genuine connections that foster a sense of closeness, trust, and security.

Redditors told the OP that she needs to be explicitly clear when telling her friend that she can not come to visit. She was declared not the AH, and that's a wrap.

Maryjane