Mother Calls Autistic Son An 'Emotionless Robot' After Not Showing Enough Grief During Uncle's Funeral

"Should I have been more upset? Am I not normal?"

Sophia

• Published in Interesting
• July 24, 2023

Grieving can be challenging, even for the most resilient individuals. While many find solace in openly expressing their emotions, some individuals face considerable difficulty in doing so.

Among them are those with autism, whose unique neurodivergent traits may influence how they process and outwardly show their emotions. Autism, a developmental condition characterized by differences in communication, social interaction, and behavior, can lead to challenges in understanding and conveying emotions in ways that are considered "typical" by societal standards.

As a result, individuals with autism may find it arduous to navigate the intricate nuances of grief, leading to misconceptions and misunderstandings about their emotional experience. One particularly sensitive situation where this difficulty can be misconstrued is during the loss of a family member.

People with autism might struggle to exhibit conventional expressions of grief, which could be mistakenly interpreted as a lack of empathy or heartlessness. The misjudgment of their emotions can compound the pain of their loss, leaving them feeling isolated and misunderstood during a time when they may already be grappling with profound sadness.

This is definitely proven in a certain Reddit post, where OP asked if they were an a-hole for not showing enough emotions of grief when their uncle died. Just take a look below...

OP's distinct emotional processing, possibly influenced by their autism, has always led them to approach grief uniquely.

Despite the recent unexpected passing of their uncle, they did not outwardly display any signs of grief and appeared to move on swiftly.

After the funeral, OP's mother accused them of being heartless and emotionless regarding their uncle's death due to their unique way of processing emotions influenced by autism.

Feeling conflicted and questioning their normalcy, the individual sought understanding and acceptance for their different approach to grief.

Here's what people have to say:

Grieving is a highly personal experience, and there is no "right" way to do it.

Grief has a way of turning us all into beautifully flawed characters in an unpredictable play.

Crying is not mandatory in a funeral. Grief works in different ways.

Not shedding tears at a funeral is a common experience—but that doesn't mean being heartless.

Judging emotional reactions at a funerals is such a weird thing...

OP's mother's response may have been clouded by emotions...

OP's mother seems to be using them as an emotional punching bag amid her grief.

"Autism moms" are apparently a thing...

Despite their mother's remarks during grief, it's important to remember that being true to oneself is always valid, and OP deserves understanding and support.

Grief is not a game with a rulebook, and nobody should be handing out grief report cards.

Despite OP's emotional state, taking out pain on them is not justified.

Grieving without tears is perfectly acceptable!

Shedding tears isn't obligatory, and as long as your behavior was appropriate and respectful at the funeral, you have nothing to worry about, OP.

Embrace your uniqueness, OP, don't let hurtful comments define you.

While the mother may be grappling with grief, boundaries are essential in dealing with hurtful behavior.

May OP find relief from such emotional confrontations with their mom.

Forcing tears is like trying to schedule a thunderstorm; emotions don't obey.

Bottomline: everyone's grief is different.

Raising awareness and understanding of how individuals with autism process emotions is crucial for fostering an empathetic and inclusive place for all. It is also vital that one must understand that different people process grief differently, and we must never take offense if they don't shed tears in places like a funeral!

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Sophia