Autistic Dad Asks If He's An A**hole For Wearing Noise-Cancelling Headphones When His Baby Cries

"Your wife demanding that you willingly subject yourself to that is terrible and selfish."

Stephanie

• Published in Interesting
• December 10, 2023

We all know that babies cry. Some cry more than others, and some hardly cry at all, but nevertheless, they all cry.

But, for one Reddit user, the sound of his baby crying is more challenging than for most parents, and he recently shared his story in the r/AITA (Am I The A**hole?) subreddit. Reddit user u/throwawaynoisecancel explained that he and his wife have a baby daughter who (like all babies) cries a lot sometimes.

The OP is autistic, and as a result, he has severe sensory issues, especially around sound. So, to help him cope, he sometimes wears noise-canceling headphones, which he says are a godsend.

The OP has found that the headphones really help to stop him from becoming overwhelmed by the sound of his daughter crying, so he started wearing them whenever her cries became too much for him. He can still hear her cries, but the headphones muffle the sound just enough that the OP can hold her without feeling too overwhelmed.

But the OP's wife hates it when he wears them. She says that he's trying to block out the bad parts of being a parent and that he needs to hear their daughter crying so that he can "feel what she is feeling."

She also said that it probably scares the baby to see her dad with something on his head. So, the OP stopped wearing the headphones, but when he mentioned it to a friend, the friend told him it was unreasonable of his wife to make such a demand.

After all, the OP is a loving father to their baby, and his needs matter, too. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if he's an a**hole for wearing noise cancelling headphones when his baby is crying.

The OP started off by saying he's pretty sure he's the a**hole here.

He explained that he and his wife have a new baby girl, and like all babies, she cries a lot sometimes.

The OP is autistic and has severe sensory issues, particularly around sound. So, when the crying becomes too much, he wears his noise cancelling headphones.

He can still hear her crying, but it stops him feeling overwhelmed by the sound.

But the OP says his wife hates it when he wears the headphones and says it probably scares the baby.

So the OP stopped wearing them, but not he's thinking he should be able to still wear them if they help him cope.

TLDR.

Here's how people reacted.

"The baby doesn't know anything."

"People don't understand how overwhelming it can be."

"It's not like you're ignoring her."

"What difference does it make?"

"Have you tried the loop ear plugs?"

"Your wife demanding that you willingly subject yourself to that is terrible and selfish."

"This is a great solution."

"There are no prizes for being a martyr."

"Doing what is best for you so that you can take care of your daughter is also indirectly taking care of her."

"You've done nothing wrong."

"You're being sensible."

What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think the OP should stop wearing the headphones around the baby, or is his wife being unreasonable to expect that of him under the circumstances?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Stephanie