Redditor Chooses To Attend Grandmother's Funeral, Creating Problems With Mom Who Used Her Health As Excuse Not To Attend

" My Mum (f71) has a meal with friends (1 of 3 with same group of people) and she would have to miss it due to travelling. "

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• December 8, 2023

When someone in the family passes away, it's tough to figure out how to honor them, especially when health issues and family arguments get in the way. This is a common problem, and a story from Reddit shows how hard it can be.

The story is about a woman who's in a tricky spot. Her grandmother, who was 101 years old, passed away, and the funeral was 200 miles away.

The woman, who's 36 and just finished treatment for blood cancer, has to decide whether to go. Her mom, who's 71, wants to skip the funeral because she has a dinner planned with friends.

The mom says they shouldn't go because of the daughter's health, but she never really asks her daughter what she wants. OP at first agrees not to go, but then she starts feeling like she'll regret it.

So, she calls her mom with some ideas on how they can make the trip work. But her mom gets upset, hangs up, and starts telling people that her daughter told her not to come to the funeral.

OP tries to clear things up, but her mom isn't talking to her and even comes into her house when she's not there, which bothers her. OP is left wondering if she's wrong for wanting to go to the funeral and for telling people the real reason why her mom doesn't want to go.

OP's grandmother passed away, and her funeral is 200 miles away, requiring a 2-3 hour train journey. OP's mother wants them to skip the funeral due to OP's recent chemotherapy.

OP later changed her mind and offered solutions, but her mom reacted negatively, which caused tension and she started spreading false information about their conversation.

OP's mother accused OP of betrayal, now OP is questioning if she was wrong for going to the funeral and revealing her mother's lie about the reason for not attending.

OP's mom seems to want to avoid the funeral without taking responsibility.

OP's mom is trying to guilt-trip OP for simply showing basic decency.

OP should follow her instincts.

It's concerning how OP's mom is behaving given their loss and medical situation.

The mother is upset because she lied to avoid attending an event.

OP's mum chooses to lie rather than take responsibility for her decision to prioritize a social occasion over a family funeral.

OP's mother's behavior in choosing socializing over attending her own mother's funeral is questionable.

OP's mom, at 71, should simply say she can't travel; no need for excuses.

OP has the right to attend if she wishes, and her mum has to face the consequences of her actions.

It's tough to say who's right or wrong in this situation because families can be complicated. The daughter wants to go to her grandmother's funeral, but her mom has plans with friends and doesn't want to go.

The mom is saying it's because of the daughter's health, but she never really asked what the daughter wants. It's not fair to call the mom selfish or reckless without knowing all the details.

Maybe she has her reasons or misunderstandings. Instead of blaming anyone, both of them should talk openly and try to understand each other's feelings.

Families can have disagreements, especially during tough times like this, but it's important to listen and find a solution that works for everyone.

Damjan