Online Community Backs Man Who Prevents Wife From Attending Ex-Lover's Funeral

"I can't stop repeating that I'm so hurt with that decision"

Maryjane

• Published in Interesting
• November 9, 2023

It can begin as a friendship and eventually develop into something more. If you're not even sure what to name it, you might just keep referring to it as a "close friendship," even though it's a little more intimate and nuanced than that.

Even though there isn't a physical component right now, there is still an emotional component, and it's not a good sign if this connection is with someone other than your existing spouse. And even though this is an emotional relationship, it is still regarded as cheating.

There are actions you can take to try to mend your relationship with your spouse if you had an affair and are having trouble dealing with the fallout, like admitting guilt, saying sorry, and ending the affair. You must determine whether you can and will give your partner another chance if they wish to make amends after having an affair.

In the OP's second year of marriage, his wife went home when he was deployed and slept with some guy she reconnected with. The reason OP didn't end the marriage and eventually forgave her is because she told him herself soon after he got home.

They have now been married for 15 years, and his wife has never made him regret his decision. News came that the guy died, and the OP's wife wanted to attend the funeral, but the OP vehemently refused.

Here's the story's headline

Since that time, OP's wife has gone above and beyond to prove that he was right to keep her

The OP can't stop repeating that he's so hurt by that decision as he's had no part of her life in so long

The Reddit post went viral with close to 20k upvotes and 4.7k comments

The OP's a good man for putting his family first

The OP's demanding some respect for his marriage

She has no relationship with him any longer

The OP revealed more in the comments section saying:

Not like I jumped up and down with glee but thought "good riddance ya f*ck". He knew she was married to me; and the audacity of this shithead to start to process of picking up on my wife during my daughter's FIRST birthday that I missed because I was deployed is f*cking astronomical.

I'm having a tough time understanding it. To me she lost the right to ever have anything to do with him, dead or alive when she decided a fling with him was more important than our family.

Forgiveness is right but forgetting is just stupid

The OP has a right to his feelings and so does his wife

The OP should consider talking about it to a professional

This Redditor doesn't understand what the OP's wife wants to gain by this

The OP's feelings and response are totally reasonable

There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to handling an affair in a committed partnership or marriage, just like in any other personal connection. It can occasionally cause a marriage to fail.

With expert assistance and conversation, several couples are able to rebuild and preserve their relationship, too. The OP was declared not the AH, and you can leave your verdict in the comments section below.

Maryjane