Pregnant Woman And Fiancé Compete To See Who Feels Worse, Turning Her Need For Support Into Ridiculous Competition

"Every single time I say anything other than that I am perfectly fine, he then has to tell me how bad HE feels"

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• January 24, 2024

Pregnancy, a profound transformation and challenging journey, often brings couples closer together. Yet, it can also unveil unexpected situations, as seen in the story of a 26-year-old woman grappling with her first trimester.

Pregnancy's physical toll is no secret, with symptoms ranging from mild nausea to overwhelming exhaustion. But what happens when this natural process becomes a battleground of one-upmanship with your partner?

While navigating the pregnancy and work, OP finds her experiences consistently overshadowed by her fiancé's complaints. Each expression of her legitimate discomfort is met with his exaggerated claims of feeling worse, turning her genuine need for support into an absurd competition.

Despite her attempts to communicate how this diminishes her struggles, her fiancé insists he's merely sharing, not competing. Yet, his actions suggest otherwise, leaving her feeling unheard and invalidated.

During a particularly challenging day, her patience snaps. After sharing how difficult her day has been, her fiancé retorts with a dismissive, “You don’t even know. I feel like crap and my head is killing me.”

This response sparks a heated exchange, with the OP emphasizing the incomparable nature of her situation. Her fiancé's retort, “It’s not a competition and he should be able to complain,” only further illustrates their disconnect in understanding and empathy.

OP is pregnant, in her first trimester, and is experiencing nausea, insomnia, and exhaustion, and her fiancé regularly checks on her well-being.

Every time OP expresses any discomfort, he responds by saying he feels worse, attempting to make it seem like his situation is more severe.

He claims he's just trying to empathize.

OP snapped at him when he inquired about her well-being and complained of a headache.

OP is feeling frustrated when her partner dismisses her pregnancy-related struggles and insists on complaining about his own issues.

This is a common occurrence.

OP's fiancé lacks empathy and wants OP to only say "I'm fine."

OP can suggest counseling to avoid conflict before the baby arrives.

He might be trying to relate, but it often comes off badly.

Maybe he's feeling neglected.

OP should tell him about pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness, backache, reflux, swollen ankles, and hemorrhoids, and if he mentions his headache in response, it would be surprising.

OP's fiancé is insensitive and dismissive of her pregnancy symptoms.

There's something wrong with him.

He's likely to behave childishly and selfishly when the baby comes.

It seems like OP's fiancé isn't very good at understanding or caring about how she feels during her pregnancy. He seems to want her to just say "I'm fine" all the time, even when she's not.

OP can suggest they talk to someone who can help them communicate better before their baby arrives. Maybe he's trying to relate to her, but he's doing it in a bad way.

He might be feeling left out or neglected, but that doesn't excuse how he's acting. OP should let him know about all the uncomfortable things she's going through during pregnancy, like feeling sick, having a sore back, acid reflux, swollen ankles, and hemorrhoids. If he keeps talking about his headache when she's telling him all that, it would be pretty surprising.

OP's fiancé isn't being very understanding or supportive of her during this important time. If they don't work on their communication and empathy, it could lead to more problems when the baby comes.

Damjan