20+ People Shared The Most Surprising Things About Having A Healthy Relationship After A Toxic One

It's amazing how much can change.

Kylin

• Published in Interesting
• December 13, 2021

Before we dive in to this, I wanted to start out with a generalized warning with this being a topic about toxic relationships, there are many stories shared about physical, emotional/mental and se*ual abuse. Keep your mental health in mind, and take care of yourself, this article will be here when you're ready.

r/AskWomen is a popular subreddit where many interact, women or not. The users and moderators have done a great job at supporting a community that's respectful and enlightening.

Per their description: "AskWomen is dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit."

Recently, user u/heckyeafriends posed quite the question for women who went from a toxic relationship to a healthy one: what surprised them the most? Undoubtedly, the difference is like night and day.

Toxic relationships at best can be very draining, at worst, physically and mentally damaging. An ideal relationship is one built on mutual respect, trust, and affection but some people are just not wired that way or haven't learned how to navigate through life and relationships without manipulation or violence.

This question brought forward a lot of stories that shared an overreaching consensus: healthy relationships are a breath of fresh air. A relief that they're not crazy, and that so much of the effort previously put into toxic relationships really isn't needed.

Continue along to see what's been shared!

The Question

Being able to breathe

What it feels like to be truly loved

Straightforward communication

No more coercion

How happy you can be

Security in your partner

Receiving sincere apologies

The sense of relief not being held responsible for others sense of self

Witnessing Emotional Availability

How the highs and lows of toxic relationships can be addicting

How much strength you actually have

Arguments don't have to be a power struggle

Not feeling like a burden

S*x is fun AND enjoyable

What it feels like to be on the receiving end of kindness

Emotional abuse is abuse

Validation

That stability can feel boring - but boring isn't a bad thing.

How to be independent even in a relationship

That men can be nice people

How good feeling wanted can feel

You're not alone, and there are options.

If you find yourself in a toxic, abusive relationship, it can be helpful to know that you're not alone. And there are LOTS of options to help get out of it.

For folks in the US The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be a great resource. You can talk to someone via chat on their website, call or text.

To call: 1800-799-SAFE (7233)

For texting: Text "START" to 88788

Per their website: "Every contact to The Hotline is personal. Some people who reach out to us identify as survivors of abuse, some as concerned friends or family members, some as abusive partners seeking to change themselves. While every contact is unique, our advocates are guided by The Hotline’s Consent and Ethics policy and will emphasize several key points throughout your conversation."

And for readers outside of the U.S, you can find a list of resources for your location HERE

Take care of yourself, and if you're fortunate enough to be in a healthy, loving relationship, give your partner an extra hug today.

Kylin