Man Questions His Decision To Rehome His Cat Because Of His Girlfriend's Cat Phobia

Pets are family, even if they aren't human

Kylin

• Published in Interesting
• October 24, 2022

Any pet owner can tell you that their beloved companion is like family. There’s a reason why cats and dogs are referred to as “fur babies.”

(Side question: do reptile and fish owners call their pets “scaley babies?” Are birds “feather babies”?)

Our pets are by our side through all the ups and downs we experience in life. More often than not, they’re the ones there for us more than anyone else.

Deep and loving bonds are easily and quickly formed no matter what type of pet you have. Sure, there are annoyances like housebreaking, torn-up belongings or furniture, and the like, but it definitely balances out.

When it comes to dating a pet owner, it’s important to note that they are a package deal with whatever animal (or animals) they may own. And if you have an allergy, fear, or some sort of aversion to the pet your potential partner owns, you would be better off cutting your losses from the get-go.

But all those things can be managed if the person is The One™ and you just can’t live without them. There are allergy medications, therapy, or compromises to help avoid interaction as much as possible.

However, expecting them to fully give up their pet is an unreasonable expectation. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be as taboo to non-pet owners.

A Redditor shared their own personal experience on the famous AITA forum. Their girlfriend of 2 years apparently has an extreme phobia of cats and for some reason, neither of them thought to maybe NOT date since OP has had a cat for over 7 years.

Things came to a head when she asked him to rehome the cat. They even attempted therapy to work through this major issue.

Keep scrolling to read the full story and find out what happened in the end.

OP explains in their post that their GF of 2 years has an intense phobia of cats

But the kicker is that he's had his cat for 7 years and wasn't about to just get rid of him. They attempted therapy, but OP felt that it was set up as a way for him to "cope" with the loss of his cat, and not to reach a compromise or help the GF with her phobia.

They ended up breaking up over this disagreement

OP felt like the end of the relationship was his fault, since he wouldn't abandon his cat to accommodate his girlfriends phobia. Naturally, he turned to AITA to get some outside opinions.

OP also paid the cat tax and provided a picture of their adorable kitty

Who could ever hate such a beautiful floofer?

Every commenter agreed, OP wasn't an AH, pets are a lifetime commitment

Their GF knew about the cat from the get-go and should have sought treatment for her phobia if she wanted the relationship to last

GF could have put in *some* work to help the relationship

The relationship between OP and his cat is guaranteed to last the cats entire life

A phobia is pretty much out of the persons control, it doesn't necessarily make them a bad person to avoid the thing they're phobic of

But the GF seemed to have less than good intentions for the cat from the beginning if she chose to date OP without figuring out her phobia

It was...

She new for 2 years that the cat was part of the package

No one did anything particularly wrong, it just ended up not working out

It's a compatibility issue, not a failure

Both were in a really difficult spot, and it's ultimately *for the best* that they broke up

Her phobia is hers to manage, not for OP to cater to

Hopefully this will be a learning experience for the GF to not date someone with a cat in the future, or to work on her phobia

"A relationship doesn't have to be ruined to just plain not work out"

Freaking nailed it

It's not often talked about that sometimes relationships are just incompatible

They made the best choice with the options available to them

Having a cat is part of dating OP

Hopefully these comments about compatiblity helped OP with the loss of their relationship

Not a red flag, but a deal breaker

GF would definitely benefit from therapy, even if it's not just for her cat phobia

Literally everyone would benefit from therapy

Folks drew their NTA votes because the GF went into couples therapy with the intention to help OP cope with rehoming the cat, not to come up with a compromise

Pets are family, plain and simple

Many people get through difficult times with just their pets for support

OP ended up editing their post to thank fellow Redditors for their comments and support

While I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision to make, OP did indeed make the best choice for the situation he was in. Even if pets aren’t “equal” to humans, they are still very much a huge part of our lives.

What would you have done in that situation? Would you have rehomed your fur-baby of 7 years to make your partner of 2 years comfortable?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below!

Kylin