Unfavored Daughter Keeps Her Wedding Secret, Leaving Parents Upset And Questioning Her Choices

|When I was a kid, my parents seemed largely disinterested in me."

May

• Published in Interesting
• May 14, 2024

When a child is unfavored, it's only natural that they grow to resent their parents. It wouldn't even come as a surprise if the unfavored child treats her mom and dad like strangers.

Today's post from the "Am I The A**hole?" (AITA) subreddit shows the effect of such a dynamic when an unfavored child becomes an adult who's already capable of making decisions for herself. The original poster (OP) in today's story tells the community that her parents are disinterested in her.

She got married to her partner of several years, in an intimate ceremony without informing her parents. Despite living together due to circumstances, her parents never engaged in conversations beyond basic topics like work and her relationship status.

This lack of interest extended to her wedding plans. When confronted about not informing them about the wedding, OP defended herself by pointing out their lack of interest in her life.

Now, she faces criticism from her older sisters and pressure to apologize for excluding her parents from her wedding. According to them, their mother is upset that she wasn't able to witness the OP getting married.

They told her to apologize to their mom. She wonders if not informing her parents about a huge life milestone makes her an a-hole.

The OP asks this question to the online community.

Despite being the unfavored child in her family, the OP found the love of her life and got married.

The OP noticed that her parents are not really interested in her. So at some point, she stopped talking about her life with them.

The couple had an intimate wedding, and she was warmly welcomed by her now-husband's family.

One day, the parents stayed over at the OP's place.

After the parents saw her wedding photos, they became upset.

They couldn't believe that their daughter didn't tell them about this major life milestone.

While it's very understandable for the mom and dad to become upset, they also need to realize that this is the consequence of what they did as parents.

People encouraged the OP to get therapy. Fortunately, she already knew this was the best course of action.

Time for the OP to move out. It's not healthy to live near the parents she resents.

One Redditor was against the OP's reaction, calling it passive aggressive.

This is the kind of situation that both the OP and her parents have to face. The parents' disinterest in the OP beyond basic details has created a dynamic where important events like her wedding were not communicated.

The way things turned out to be is largely the parents' fault. But it's not healthy for the OP to express her resentment in this manner.

She might want to reconsider moving out. And once she's ready to talk about it with her parents, she can she can open up about how their lack of involvement in her life has affected her and discuss ways to improve their relationship moving forward.

She just got married, so moving out will allow her to start anew.

May