Mom's Attempt To Teach Her 10-Year-Old Daughter About Friendship And Empathy Backfires

"You need parenting classes."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• April 11, 2023

A mom on Reddit had several chances to make the right choices but took the wrong one at every turn. Now, she's asking strangers to weigh in because her husband and 10-year-old daughter are mad at her.

OP's problem started when she forced her daughter Melody to be friends with a girl she didn't like. Melody and Leah go to the same after-school program, but OP was an acquaintance of Leah's mom for years.

Melody doesn't want to be friends with Leah because she finds her too loud. Apparently, she also asks rude questions and doesn't understand personal space.

OP told her daughter that she has to be polite to Leah even if they're not friends. OP suspected that Leah was on the spectrum, which her mom eventually shared.

Leah's mom called recently and asked OP if Melody wanted to go to the aquarium with them. OP agreed without asking Melody if she wanted to.

Her daughter got upset when OP told her about the outing. OP said Leah doesn't have a lot of friends, and if Melody tried to get to know her better, she would eventually realize that Leah is a nice girl.

Half an hour later, OP got a call from her sister-in-law, who was also at the aquarium that day. They were about to leave when Melody, just arriving, approached them and asked to go home with them.

OP's SIL didn't know what to do, so she called. OP was embarrassed by what Melody did, but she was more concerned about hurting Leah's feelings.

She asked her SIL to give the phone to Melody so they can talk without Leah and her mom overhearing

Melody immediately told her mom about how upset she was

OP gave in after realizing that Melody's bad mood will ruin Leah's day at the aquarium

OP told her daughter she behaved rudely when she got home. Melody was adamant that she didn't want to be friends with Leah and stalked to her room.

OP called Leah's mom to apologize and found out that the girl cried after they left early. She gifted them money since it was Melody's fault that they didn't enjoy their day.

OP's husband found out what happened and got mad at OP. He said that she should have respected their daughter's wishes and everything that happened was OP's fault.

OP thought her husband was overreacting and didn't need to take Melody to dinner to cheer her up. So, dear readers, whose fault was it?

OP failed Melody when she confided in her. She forced her child to be around someone she's not comfortable with.

The least she could have done was ask Melody if she was up for the outing or at least went with her to the aquarium

Either way, OP wasn't thinking of Melody or Leah when she agreed to the aquarium trip

OP can learn a LOT of lessons from those classes

What a great lesson to teach your daughter! OP should write a book or something.

OP basically forced Melody to be "pity friends" with Leah and it doesn't benefit either of the kids

If they were getting well enough during the after-school program, OP didn't need to force this interaction at all

OP didn't reply to any questions inquiring about her intention behind the forced bond between Leah and Melody

Her daughter, her husband, and thousands of internet strangers are telling her she handled this wrong. Did OP listen? We will never know.

The fact that she blamed Melody for the fallout will endear her daughter to her for sure

It's better that Melody learned now that she can't expect her mom to listen to her or respect her. Saves her a lot of heartbreak down the line.

We can give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume that she only had good intentions with this friendship plan of hers

Still, she went about it the wrong way and ended up hurting both kids

Because of her interference, Leah and Melody will not be friends in the foreseeable future. They got along just fine before OP meddled, but now, Melody will always think of Leah as the kid her mom forced her to hang out with.

It's not too late for OP to be a better mom and advocate for Melody. That is, if she's willing to admit she messed up and mend things with her daughter & her husband.

Chelsi